A Little Bit of Everything..

In this slide you can see everything we have been working on the past several months..... There is the girl's room all done, Tyler's room, and some pics of the house decorated for Christmas, and with all that we managed to have a great vacation so there are pics of the kids on their funniest behavior, also the kids had birthdays in there somewhere so there is a pic of Ty's 4 year old portraits and one of Gen's 3 year old portraits, all this JUST in time for Baby Bella's arrival.

Baby Bella should be here tomorrow. Since the little diva didn't make her appearance on her own, they are coaxing her out tomorrow. My appointment at the hospital is bright and early at 6:30 A.M. ! I am not sure when I will be able to post again but I will as soon as I can to let everyone know about our new addition.

Thanks to everyone who has prayed for us and kept us in their thoughts. All the well wishes I have received today are just overwhelming and so great to hear. Of course we are anxious , scared, excited, and nervous all at once and to know that everyone is keeping us near is comforting.

We can't wait to meet our new baby girl and introduce her to all of you!

Love,
The Lara's

Waiting on Baby Bella....

Nesting is now in full swing, and I think it has affected the entire Lara household. Maybe, I pushed them all to "nest" with me, but whatever it is, we look like some sort of ant farm working non stop in perfect harmony. This holiday weekend was most productive.

Thursday we watched the Thanksgiving Day Parade's in bed with the kids and then had breakfast. From then on, it was work, work, work, until it was time to go to Mimi's for dinner. it was a gorgeous day and John was even able to out up the Christmas lights outside.

On Friday we slept in a bit and then headed to Lowe's for some finishing touches on Christmas decorations and a Christmas tree of course. By Friday night, the tree was up, the trees and decorations in the kids rooms are up too, (they are so cute, Tyler has his little tree and his own train, Gen has a pink Princess tree with some Nutcracker ballerinas that are so pretty, and in the playroom they have their own Christmas village, it is by Fisher Price, and they are able to play with it, so no worries, and just sooo cute!!) and all the decorations for the house were out and in order for the next day.

Saturday, I did the mantle, the staircase, and the formal dining room, and voila, all done!!! We cleaned up the entire house, changed the sheets, John did some touch up painting, all the laundry is done, I mean, wow, I can't believe it. The kids knew to STAY away and did their part. Mom came over for dinner that night, yeah we even cooked, and nope, I don't know how we did it either.

Sunday, the last of the cleaning, Mimi came over, and we went over to Mom's for a quick visit. Now it is 11:30 PM Sunday and I am wide awake! I wish I could do more, truth is, not much to do. I should be trying to sleep, which may or may not work these days, though we got some good sleep time in the mornings, some days not waking up until 11 am, that doesn't mean that the sleep was actually good you know......it is hit or miss with the size of this belly!!

As for Miss Bella, nothing yet! I feel huge, she feels huge, and apparently she is as comfortable as can be! I can't complain though in all reality, I am not even swollen this time, by this time with the other two I couldn't wear my rings or shoes, and knock on wood, I am good!! No hemorrhoids either as this countdown thing says up there either, so I feel really lucky, and I suppose I should say good then. Sure my hips hurt so much at night I can cry, and I cant roll over in bed, I have to pee 5 times a night, sometimes waking John to help me crawl out, the pressure in my pelvis is enough to make me consider wearing a net to catch the baby in case she just comes out, but hey, other than that, nope, I am not complaining.

Now we still just wait......if she doesn't come on her own by 11/29 then I have an appointment that day at the hospital be be induced. Not great, but at least she will be here, and maybe weigh 9 pounds rather than 10, lol. OMG I just shouldn't kid around with that! Gen weighed in at 8 pounds 4 ounces, I am thinking that her weight isn't a laughing matter here. So say a prayer for us while we wait on Baby Bella, we are well and hanging on in the mean time.

Love,
Veronica

So Much To Be Thankful For

Although I got a get out of jail free card this year to hosting any sort of holiday parties I am actually a little bummed that I am not hosting our usual Thanksgiving dinner at our place. John and I always host and it is my favorite time. My turkey is actually quite good if I do say so myself. A friend passed on a Wolfgang recipe, and it sure takes a lot of work and ingredients, but it is so well worth it. This year my grandma is hosting, so dry turkey it is......wellllll....its not terrible....but it isn't Wolfgang. I will miss my squash casserole too, but all in all, I just don't think I could have pulled it off at 9 months pregnant. It is still my favorite time of year and I am excited to be thankful for just so much. Truly overwhelming.

• Tomorrow John and I will be married 9 years! I am thankful to have a great husband. Yeah, he cooks, cleans, changes diapers, and is easy to look at too. THANKFUL.
• My kids are the greatest!! They are happy and healthy and oh just so cute I cant believe they are mine. Sometimes I can look at them and think it is all a dream and tear up. THANKFUL.
• My pregnancy has been smooth, no complications as of yet, I am well aware that anything can happen, but so far, so good. THANKFUL.
• My family is all here again for another holiday season. Everyone pretty much healthy. My grandparents are getting old, and they practically raised me. Every year I make sure to look at them across the table,for a good long while, and I pray God lets them sit there one more year, together, and here they are. THANKFUL.
• Great friends. Those are few and far between, but there is a couple that I am so grateful to have met. THANKFUL.
• I am THANKFUL that my kids are THANKFUL. I asked Tyler what he was thankful for and he had an entire list....but mommy and daddy were on it, what more can I ask for? Then again, so were dinosaur toys, and animal toys, etc..... lol........still so THANKFUL.
• Today I get to leave work early to go to the spa, hello , ever so THANKFUL!!

Tyler has a little prayer he says at school before they eat, (which he so sweetly and innocently shares with us now as well) and I think it sums it up pretty well....

Thank you for the world so sweet,

Thank you for the food we eat.

Thank you for the birds that sing,

Thank you God for EVERYTHING.

AMEN

Yes, I Think We Do Forget

*when you are rushing to get the kids ready for school and are late for work* when you have a sick child at home you are worrying about* when life is tiring you out* when your bills are stacking up on the couonter* when you are having a good time* when you are enjoying your coffee* when you are sleeping in your warm bed on the weekend* when you hug your kids and spouse* when you hear the laughter of your family* when you take a relaxing shower*

...Do you remember? Well I am guilty of forgetting myself. This war has been too long. The days are mashing together and the news of bombings and deaths are sounding habitual. When you say your prayers tonight, remember the brave men and women that are fighting for you and their families. We continue to live our lives and they stand steadfast for us.

PEACE

My Honey

..and NO he is not actually for sale.......though some days, welllll, just kidding babe...I love you!

Do Not Drink the Water!

Babies, babies, babies everywhere!! Or at least happy pregnant ladies for now. Pretty uplifting actually, but if you aren't digging sleepless nights, big bellies, and other fun stuff then stay away!

Ladies, I am so happy to be in this category with you, what a special time! Best of luck to all of us. I may be weird, but despite the back aches and uncomfortableness of the last weeks of pregnancy, I actually love being pregnant and really soak up the amazing life we are lucky enough to be able to create. I hope you get to enjoy every amazing second of it. I do think of all of you often and wish the very best for each of you. Kids are the best thing in the world. A babies laugh, smell, and touch, priceless. Have fun, and HAPPY SHOPPING!!!

• Veronica-Due Dec., 2007----It's a Girl!-----Baby #3
• Tasha---Due Dec., 2007----It's a Boy!-----Baby #2
• Vicki----Due Feb., 2008----It's a Boy!-----Baby #3
• Emily---Due March, 2008---It's A Girl!----Baby #1
• Lilly----Due April, 2008-----It's A Boy!----Baby #3
• Kristen--Due June, 2008---- It's A ??-----Baby #1
• Catie---Due July, 2008------It's A ??----Baby #2

Whew, I warned you! That's a lot of babies!! Congrats to all!! Have a Virgin Daiquiri tonight and some Halloween chocolate to celebrate...

Cheers....bask in the glow........V!

Girls Rule!

Congrats to Emily and Jack!!

Our great friends just found out that they will be welcoming a beautiful baby girl into the world in March 2008.

We can't wait to meet her. Enjoy the awesome journey. Here's to love, luck, health, sleep, tea parties, dressing up like princesses, lots of sweetness, and the best play dates ever. This is only the beginning of all the fun ahead!

A Side Note......

I am 33 weeks today!!

BUUUUUUUTTTTT, I did notice my countdown up there, and NO "CANKLES" for me, thank you very much!

At least not yet.....other things maybe...cankles......nah!!

Wish me luck!!
V

Right Now.......

• .......It finally feels like Fall...the crisp air smells so yummy and the sunshine is just right......everything is so pretty.....I cant wait to step outside......
• .......My cold is finally almost gone, and I am blessed enough to be able to take in the fresh air of this gorgeous day.......
• .......I am SO enjoying being pregnant with probably my last little baby.......she is moving and kicking and letting me know (constantly) that she is in there and soon will be here with us......
• .......I cant wait for Halloween (I am as bad as the kids) so that I can dress them up......and take them trick or treating......and steal their good chocolate...just kidding..(OK not really)
• .......It's FRIDAY!!! I can't wait to be with my kids all weekend.......
• .......I am enjoying the smell of fresh apples........(with caramel dip of course)
• .......My desk looks half way decent........
• .......My kids are growing up.........Gen is almost potty trained......Tyler can dial 911......
• .......I realize that what really matters the most is just right.........

Right now I am happy, I am free, I am loved, I am Lucky, I am Blessed, I am anxious, I am busy, I am overwhelmed, I am excited, I am tired, Right now I am ME.........

Ty's First Day of School

Somehow my baby boy is now going to school.......not sure where the time went, but Tyler now goes to Pre School and seems to be enjoying it for the most part. The transition has been much smoother than I could have hoped for. Well, at least it has been for him. I get so nervous the entire time he is at school and I even lose sleep over it the night before. It is hard to let go, and this is only pre school. I am so proud of him though.

His little sister misses him while he is gone, I always worried about that. This duo can not be separated so I know it is rough on her and it is pretty obvious, she cries in the mornings when they aren't together.

I hope this gets easier for all of us. Somehow deep inside I know that this is one of my first steps to the inevitable.....kids grow up and then just like that they dont need us as much. As parents the best we can do is prepare them, love them and protect them when we can...... Then we must learn how to ever so graciously, let go.

Tyler, --- enjoy every last bit of it!!!!!

I LOVE FALL...and STARBUCKS!

Growing up in Miami, FL all I knew was summer. I loved it naturally and lived for the beach. When I moved to NC I got a taste of Fall. I knew I studied that there were seasons in school, but never really got to experience it. The leaves were gorgeous, the air so crisp, with just enough sunshine to warm your skin. Perfect weather! My "bumming out" outfit of choice in the fall is a sweatshirt, hair up in a pony tail, some shorts or jeans, and of course flip flops. If I am lucky there is a Starbucks cup in my hand. Fall is like a mix of the summer that passed and the winter to come. I love this part of the year in NC.

You just know that Fall is finally here when Starbucks has their Pumpkin Spice Latte on the menu. This year it got here even earlier than the first day of Fall, and let me tell you it was way welcomed! Sure, I admit, not good for the waist line, but since my waist line doesn't matter these days, I indulge! These just taste so much better when you are pregnant. DELISH!! The first one I had I cheated and just had it, the next one she made half decaf for me so it could be more baby friendly. Can't even tell the difference. YUMMY.

I am sure I am growing a Starbucks and Caribou junkie in there right this moment, just like her sister Genesis. See, with Tyler I steered clear of most caffeine, first baby and all, and he could care less for the coffee, but Gen on the other hand, she BEGS for it. Poor thing, she cant have it just yet, so she can just take a taste of mine. I can't wait until she is older though, what can be more fun than a day of shopping with your daughter (she loves that too) that starts and ends at the coffee shop?

Of course, I think deep in my heart summer is still my favorite season, it reminds me of my childhood and my home. I have to admit though that I love falling for FALL. (Not to mention it will not be hard to say goodbye to this heat; can't believe I made it through summer and this pregnancy without chopping my hair off).

Disney 2007!

I can't believe that time has gotten away from me again! It has been nearly 12 days since we got back from vacation and it feels like I just got here. Not to mention I am nearly 30 weeks along!! Whew!

Disney was wonderful. We had a great time, the kids were great, the weather was great, even the baby was great!! We were really able to enjoy each other and that was special to me b/c most vacations are usually so hurried with so much to see and do. We really took it easy and were able to take lots in. That made it a memorable vacation for me. It's hard to imagine that soon there will be 3 kids to take to Disney, but I just cannot wait! Disney has always been one of my favorite places to go since I was a kid, I grew up there, but now that I get to take my own kids, Disney is at a whole new level. The light in their faces when we are there are just priceless, pure magic.

But how was Disney itself you ask? Well everyone does and they always ask how can I go so many times. Each time is different and new! There is so much to do it cannot be done on one trip so there is always variety. The kids experience is different as their age changes as well. This time Gen was able to dress up and Ty was able to ride big boy things with his Daddy, it was so well worth it.

As for Disney, perfect really. Everything is just so pristine there. One of John's coworkers sent him an email while we were there. She wanted to see a pic of Mickey taking a dookie it said. Odd request I know, though I guess it was a strange joke, a simple hope you are having fun would have done considering we are at kiddie/family central there, but well OK....sorry, you are so out of luck. Nothing takes a "dookie" there. Not even the birds! How the heck do they do that? There are thousands upon thousands going through there for 12-15 hours a day, and still, no trash anywhere, the stores in perfect order, the restaurants under control, the bathrooms actually clean, WOW! Still amazes me each time we go.

When we went there this year we went thinking we will skip next year with a new baby and all. Let me just say that by the time it was time to head home, John was already figuring out how we can go next summer. It was that great! John is so great at making things happen for us, and his mind is already planning. If not in 2008 I am sure we will be there in 2009. The kids are ready to go again and start saving their money! (they saved over 300 last time, pretty impressive!!) We did get a flat on the way back..a tiny draw back on a perfect vacation we are so thankful to have! Disney we will see you soon.

Beautiful

Yesterday we went to have this 3d sonogram done and the experience was just amazing. I think the kids even got it which was so special. It was great to have my grandparants there with us too. Especially my Grandpa. I know it meant a lot to him and I am so lucky to have them in my life and share this with them! He can't stop talking about it and it's just wonderful. Beautiful.

Forever Young

Here are Ty and Gen at John's bosses Bed and Breakfast.....they hold weddings here in this gazebo by a lake. One of John's co-workers daughters' decided to marry them. Gen walked down the aisle and all. I know this will be the real deal one day, except sadly, Genesis Nicole will not have ringlet pig tails and a band aid on her knee. Tyler Jon won't be marrying his sister, and will be wearing a suit I suppose. I can't imagine. I do hope that when those days come, I can look back and remember this moment in time , and though they will not be eachothers spouses (lol) that they are still side by side up there. These are sure to be the good old days of tomorrow.

Forever Young

Bob Dylan

May God bless and keep you always,

May your wishes all come true,

May you always do for others

And let others do for you.

May you build a ladder to the stars

And climb on every rung,

May you stay forever young,

Forever young, forever young,

May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous,

May you grow up to be true,

May you always know the truth

And see the lights surrounding you

May you always be courageous,

Stand upright and be strong,

May you stay forever young,

Forever young, forever young,

May you stay forever young.

May your hands always be busy,

May your feet always be swift,

May you have a strong foundation

When the winds of changes shift.

May your heart always be joyful,

May your song always be sung,

May you stay forever young,

Forever young, forever young,

May you stay forever young.

All I Know

All I Know Lyrics

Five For Fighting

I bruise you

You bruise me

We both bruise so easily

Too easily to let it show

I love you, and thats all I know

And all my plans

keep falling through

All my plans they

Depend on you

Depend on you

To help them grow

I love you

And thats all I know

When the singer's gone

Let the song go on

It's a fine line between

The darkness and the dawn

They say in the darkest night

Theres a light beyond

And the ending always

Comes at last

Endings always

Come too fast

They come too fast

And they pass too slow

I love you

And thats all, its really all I know

Its all I know

Its all I know

Splish Splash

For a living I help people through home insurance claims. Not the best part of my job, but one that I methodically help folks through all the time. "Yes sir we will pay for whatever the water damaged from the leak in your pipes ", " Your policy will pay to replace those stolen items", "First step Mrs. Smith is to get someone to come extract the water and dry it up". Whew, going through the motions takes on a whole new meaning when it happens to you.

Sunday we had a great day. The four of us went to the mall, had a nice meal together, and ran errands all day. We were out from about 11AM until 10PM. We were tired from the long day and ready to go home to cuddle up to a movie. I love coming home after a day like that , this time coming home wasn't as pleasant. Still I realize it could have been much much worse.

John let me know that fish tank broke while we were gone. The look on his face was so sad!! I have never seen that one. There wasn't a drop of water left in that tank. All 55 gallons were all over our home and what is worse we lost our pets. All of our salt water reef fish were gone. The fish, invertebrates, anemones, corals, you name it , we lost it, thousands of dollars I would say that we accumulated in the last 3 years. We had started that tank mainly for Tyler who loves Nemo, all of Nemo's friends were in there. Often the kids would literally want to take their high chairs up to the tank to sit directly in front of them to eat their meals. They loved those fish. They were like part of the family, always something cool to discover in there. (We had recently found 2 baby starfish for example!) That was probably the worse part in hind sight. My heart still sinks when I think of it.

Tyler cried, I cried, Gen cried. Tyler really cried. I had to explain why they were dead, and that they were in fish heaven, yikes. Didn't think I would have to explain all of that on this night out of nowhere. I guess it was better to go through death and heaven when it was about animals rather than a person though. Still it didn't make it much easier.

At that time of night we had to call a water restoration company to extract the water. It was just too much for us to pick up. There was water on the kitchen floor (vinyl) that then went down into the carpet in the family room and then ran to the hardwoods towards the entry way hall. What a mess. They gathered what they could and then put up fans and dehumidifiers. Total we have 7 machines in there now. We didn't go to bed when all was said done until about 3 AM that night.

Poor Tyler thought that someone came in and did that to his fish. His exact words were "who doesn't love me that came in here and did that to my tank". Aww. How he thinks of these things I have no idea. He was pretty wound up and nervous for that night so it was hard to get them down to bed. Understandable to say the least- not to mention the machines are SO LOUD! They can be heard upstairs even with the bedroom door closed.

That night I think no one really slept. The machines make the house so HOT! These past days have been unbearable as it is and it was just terrible in there. We put the AC on 60 and it was still reading 82 degrees. So on Monday we had to clean up some more and go buy an AC unit to put in the bedroom window so that we could at least have one cool room for all of us to sleep in. Monday was still a sad day because it was Gens Bday and we had a fun day planned that didn't pan out. Instead, we ended up spending some time with her but then dropping them off at Mimi's until 9PM (depressing to leave her on this day) so that we can get the house in order. Or at least try to mop and get some things up etc.

As of now it looks like the carpet has to be replaced, the vinyl repaired, and the hardwoods are still debatable, because they are still wet. Well everything is still wet in there for that matter.....even the wall. They ended up taking the base boards off and drilling some holes in the wall to try and dry it up. So we will see what the final verdict is soon I hope.

For now, I will still dread going home to the heat, noise and mess.......We literally open the door and go straight upstairs. I try to dodge questions from Tyler about his fish. The kid can outsmart me if I let him. Tomorrow we should hear more about the repairs, wish us luck.

Sum Sum Summer Time!!

Faster!
Gen wiped out, and Ty takes the lead!
Go Gen, the tables have turned now...

Here are Ty and Gen having some summer fun. Like all kids they love to be out side. They were having such a good time running while daddy watched and took some pictures. Summer is great!

What's in a color anyway?

Your Power Color Is Lime Green

At Your Highest: You are adventurous, witty, and a visionary. At Your Lowest: You feel misunderstood, like you don't fit in. In Love: You have a tough exterior, but can be very dedicated. How You're Attractive: Your self-awareness and confidence lights up a room. Your Eternal Question: "What else do I need in my life?"

What's" Your Power Color?

The Must Have Pregnancy Drink

I have found the new must have pregnancy drink. This drink is totally multi-functional and I think I will have plenty more of these in the next 4 months! I haven't had one of these in years, and have been trying to be creative with drinks since I have been pregnant. I may have found just the one. Yum-O!

Can only have caffeine in moderation, and that gets consumed most mornings with coffee so there goes most sodas. Then there is my favorite Diet Pepsi. Can't have too much of that either because of that evil little thing called aspartame. What is a pregnant girl to do? It's not like we can grab a nice cold beer either.

Low and behold there is Stewart's Cream Soda! I hadn't had one of these in years, and now there are so many good reasons to down some! It's Caffeine free!! It's Aspartame free!! I can drink it out of the bottle, that really tricks your mind into believing it is something else. Wow, I mean, check out that gorgeous amber color, it even looks like a beer. Truth is, its even better than beer! Tastes absolutely delish! I have been having a sweet tooth for ice cream with this baby, and this satisfies that craving too. Sure there are 180 calories in one bottle, but hey no fat, and if I had my way with the pint of ice cream, it would be a whole lot more than 180 calories anyway!

So there you have it, the good all the way around drink, at least for now. The problem will be limiting its consumption to only one a day!!

Cheers, ~V

My Quotes of the Day

Rita Rudner once said, "Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside."

I thought that one was too cute. Speaking of which, John got to feel the baby kick for the first time last night. That baby is getting stronger and stronger. Amazing that John can feel it when it is a only about a mere 6.4 inches long and not weighing even a pound! I can sure feel it though. I think this has been the most active baby yet, at least for how soon it is, later it may even out, but for now I would say this baby is wearing boxing gloves.

As for everything else, its a blah sort of day. I am not sure if I have allergies or if I am catching something but I am starting to feel sick with itchy eyes and runny nose. That's all I need. I just wish the week would end already so that I can try to get some sleep. I am pretty drained all the way around.....

Bye for now,
~V

“Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart.”

It's A Baby Girl! .......... We Think!

Yesterday was our long awaited appointment to go see our growing baby.
The ultra sound went well. Everything seems to be normal and growing to scale. Of course one still worries about these things, but there haven't been any indications that there is a need to.

While the doc did his thing John could see tiny feet and the baby moving in there. I couldn't see much of anything. I did see a head and spinal cord, that's about it.

After he was done he asked if we wanted to know the sex, of course we did. That baby was all curled up, like a tiny ball. He said that the baby just wasn't going to show us b/c he/she wasn't cooperating. Then he said, well, I am thinking it is a girl. He kept at it for a while and then he sounded more sure about his guess that it was indeed a baby girl. Though it isn't 100 percent, I am probably growing another diva in there right now.

I am dreading breaking the news to Tyler, but I am sure that he will get over it quickly. Genesis on the other hand is going to be so thrilled. I am sure she will show the new Princess all the ropes with complete efficiency.

Last night, I was able to unwind while watching the movie Because I Say So, It was about a mom and three daughters, I loved it. They have typical mom/daughter issues, but the love is so amazing, the relationship untouchable. I took it all in, I have an awesome bond with my daughter at her tiny age, I hope to keep that bond and make it stronger, shop til we drop, talk about boys and sex, and have plain girl fun. The fun and tears only girls can share with MY GIRLS. How special of a blessing.... I am thankful.

Thinking Pink,
(and praying for my Little Man and John, lol)
~Veronica

Lost in Random Thought

I got to reading my last post tonight and admittedly I still want to believe that life is good for the most part. Then I got to thinking, why the hell am I so angry then? Today someone actually said "your eyes look sad". Why? I didn't have an answer that I particularly wanted to share. Still I was enlightened by the fact that I wear my heart on my sleeve and am bad at doing otherwise I suppose. Funny thing is that, I thought I was having a good day, with the glow in full force. Seems that those that see me every day can see right through me, why is that I cant help that??

The bummer is that I think too much, my mind runs circles around me, like a roller coaster ride without a safety harness. On the bright side, something is working, I think I can actually list whats eating at me now. That brings me some peace because I can actually think of times where I couldn't even begin to figure it out.

I am a person of lists. I get through my life with lists. Grocery Lists, To Do Lists, Project Lists, Shopping Lists, Goal Lists, on and on....so here is another list, for my own clarity.

What is making me so mad these days:

• The person I trusted and counted on the most (ever) is gone. Well I can't do much about that anymore, I can honestly say that I tried. The truth is the only person one can really count is God and them self. I don't mean like when you need a sitter, or a drink, or daily things, sure those are people one needs, but I am referring to the one and only person one can one really really trust and count on . That's a toughie, Bible says people will let you down, believe in only Him etc.....I never really bought that. Now, I am glad to have figured that out when I did.
• When you have known someone seemingly forever, and then one day you wake up and it feels like you don't know them at all. Granted people change, and on the same hand, somewhere in there they are the same, are they the same with you? Is it you that has changed? The heart can be that cloudy, but when you look with your mind, is it really? Deceptive.
• Too much has happened. I have changed. Yes I think I sure have. There is no more room for the extra stuff, the negative stuff that is eating me up on the inside. I used to say I give up,without knowing what the heck I meant. I think that now I am beginning to know. I mean I give up on some things. Simple as that. Tired of going in circles.
• Makes me mad that I have given up.
• People with no compassion for what they have right under their noses. That don't try to realize what they have to lose and don't know how to prioritize. They are so fricken lost themselves that they cant figure out what to do to save whatever it is that they do have. This one makes me particularly pissed off b/c it is something that I SO have to work at, and do it with much effort.
• Life just isn't fair 99 percent of the time. Shitty things happen to truly good people, I am yet to understand that.
• This war makes me so angry inside too, but that's a whole other issue.
• When I feel that I talk for nothing, it brings me to desperation. Silence is like murder.
• Sometimes people you consider your friends show you way to often they aren't really your friend at all.
• My job feels like a dead end, though I don't know what to do about that yet.
• Dead ends suck period, I am hitting some.

Unfortunately I am sure there is more, believe it or not it feels good to write these down. I can sleep now, maybe even get a prayer in. Please, I know there are some people that read this that really do love me. (SEE I AM NOT TOTALLY NUTS, I COMPLETELY KNOW THIS) Don't ask, this blog is to make me realize things and be accountable to myself, that is all I am doing. I am fine. Plus, I think that many of you can even relate to some things up there. Sucks to "write" them down and be so analytical about them, but for me it just works, and it was the intention of this blog to start with. Besides, if I had to write a list of all the "good" things it would be much longer than that one.

In summary, only God and my kids can bring me total joy. I am thankful for that joy that simply can't be taken away by anyone or anything.

Also, my doctors appointment was supposed to be Wednesday but it got bumped up, so it is tomorrow!! I am so excited about that. I get to see my peanut on the screen. I get to see what all the commotion I feel in there is all about. I am anxious to see how the baby is growing, hopefully I get to hear that it is all going well in there. It is so scary to not know. The fun part is we get to know if it is a he or a she :). Great stuff.

Off I go to think about good things, like this awesome baby growing inside of me. This miracle that can only come from above! Can't wait to fill you all in tomorrow.

~Veronica

Amerige

Funny how one simple thing can take you so far back. Take you to places you haven't thought about in years that seem so far away. A mere scent took me to that place this morning.

It is my all time favorite perfume. The one my grandmother got me for my 15th birthday and the one I have worn for EVERY special occasion since then. The one I wear when I simply need a pick me up. It is Amerige by Givenchi, an old one at that, but a classic in it's own right. The one that smells perfect on my skin, the one guilty pleasure that helps enhance everything good in my life. The one perfume that lasts me so long as I pick the times I use it far too carefully.

I wore this perfume for my 15th birthday party (like a debutant ball in the Cuban community so it is a big one), for my prom, graduation, my wedding day, my 5 star dinner on my honey moon, our anniversaries, New Years eve parties, I even spritzed some on the way to deliver both of my babies, just for good luck. You get the idea. The smell reminds me of all things good, and there have really been some good things.

Today I wore some of this perfume. It is a brand new bottle, probably used once. It will last me another 3 years or longer. I looked at that bottle today when I put it back in the cabinet, and wondered all morning about how many more great times are ahead of me. If that bottle is in my hand, it is a good thing.

This morning was nothing special in particular, no great occasion to wear it to I am afraid, of course I wish there were. Instead I needed to be reminded about the good things. It is about 3:45 PM now and I can still smell it on my skin (see, good stuff isn't it) and when I stop to think about it, the smell can still make me smile. OK I admit it, I am a sap, makes me tear up too.

Maybe just maybe, this bottle will disappear faster than the others, I can make an effort to wear it more often, just to be reminded. No point in keeping things "bottled up", I have never been the type. Life is too short. Life is too precious. Life is good.

~Veronica

BIG News....

I think it is about time I share some BIG news with everyone. If you haven't guessed by now, the Last Little Lara is currently in the oven. That is right, John and I are expecting a baby this December. I am pretty sure that all of the pertinent parties involved already know the news. However, if you are yet to have been told, please don't worry, I bet your announcement, much like the one to the left, is sitting right here by me waiting to be mailed. I still have 10 in this stack that I haven't sent out just yet. Please don't kill us. We have been non stop this year, and I am assuming it is quite safe to say that it isn't about to get any better any time soon, ha.

Still we are so excited and just can't wait. I know you have lots of questions, so in this post I will give you the run down. Usually I get the same questions when someone hears that we are pregnant so here it goes!

Q. When are you due? / How far along are you?
A. I am due December 7th, that makes me about 17 weeks and 2 days.

Q. Do you know what you are having?
A. Not quite. If you know me at all, you know I'm a control freak so I will find out soon, I think in about 3-4 weeks.

Q. How do you feel?
A. I had a rougher start than the last two, but really doing well for right now.

Q. Any Names yet?
A. We think so. The boy's name is pretty much done. I am entertaining other names, but I am pretty sure I know what we will use. Tyler picked it so I don't think it's negotiable really. This time I get to pick the boy name and John gets to pick the girl name. I am trying to steer him in the right direction here by giving him ideas, which I am sure he takes into account, but the last word is his. I don't worry too much, he has good taste.

Q. How are the kids taking it?
A. So well! They are really excited. I am surprised they get it. I am not sure up to what extent they get it, but they definately are aware. Genesis wants a girl and Tyler a boy, which is to be expected. Gen even asks to touch the baby almost every day. Then she pats my belly. It's one of the highlights of my day.

I think I just about covered it, if I am missing anything just let me know, I am happy to answer! Oh yeah, of course John is the father. Just Kidding!!!!!

Bad Day

I am having a bad day, well really a bad week-- month-- in general. Don't feel like talking about it much however. So this post is really just for me. I find that writing about what I love makes me feel better, so I am going to be my own cheerleader for this one.

Today I got to spend the morning with Tyler. John took Genesis to Mimi's house and I was able to stay in bed later and cuddle with Tyler and then take him to get his 4 year old portraits made. I must say, he sure did look handsome. I can't wait to post those pics. He was good at the sitting too, all things considered. He made it pretty much effortless. I had at least a little bit of quality time and I enjoyed that. Though, he kept asking for his baby sister, he missed her lots. All along I thought that being alone at Mimi's would be harder on her, but apparently it is just as hard on him when they are apart. Mimi mentioned that Gen was calling for Tyler in her sleep.

Then it was time to head back to the office. Blah. As soon as I pulled in In My Daughters Eye's began to play on the radio. So I stayed in the car to listen to it. It gave me at least some peace and clarity, especially before coming in to work, which was really great.

And when she wraps her hand around my finger,

Oh, it puts a smile in my heart.

Everything becomes a little clearer.

I realize what life is all about.

It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough;

It's givin' more when you feel like givin' up.

I've seen the light: it's in my daughter's eyes.

Thanks Tyler and Genesis!

Happy Fathers Day!!

Happy Father's Day to all you Daddy's out there!

Especially to My Daddy, My Grandpa and My Husband. Thanks for everything and for being the best Dad's ever!!

Dad and Grandpa I dont know what I would have ever done without you and I am so thankful to be blessed enough to have you in my life. I am a lucky girl and wouldnt be here if it wasn't for you guys.

John, I couldn't have imagined you as a better Dad than you are. The kids are so fortunate to have such a caring, loving, hard working, smart, (and good looking of course) Dad as you. You are the best! THANKS FOR ALL YOU DO!

We love you all,

Veronica, Tyler Jon and Genesis Nicole

A Glimpse of a Day at the Lara Home

Yesterday started off as a typical morning at home for us. First we cuddle in bed for a little while and talk. Shortly after we head down for some breakfast. I get the kids situated then I sit down to have my breakfast and read. When we are almost done:

Genesis: Mommy can I have a straw to drink my milk? (she wants to drink what was left in her cereal bowl)

Me: Sure, Tyler, would you like one?

Tyler: NO (odd I think to myself)

Then I sit back down for a while. Looks like we are all done so I attempt to pick up.

Genesis: I am all done!

Tyler: Me too!

Me: OK, Gen give me your bowl please.

Gen: Here.

Me: Tyler give me yours too.

Tyler: NO

Me: We have to get ready to go Ty. Please give me that I say as I take it......

Then I notice his killer whale is in the rest of his milk. Tyler is in tears saying that if I throw it out his whale will die. The whale stayed in the bowl on the counter the rest of the day. Very sanitray, I know. What can you do though? He won this one.

Kissing My 20's Goodbye

There are so many reasons I am going to miss the 20's. I love the 20's, I wish I could be say, 27 forever! I encountered many exciting things in my 20's, below is a re-cap, in no particular order....

• Moved to NC
• Got engaged to my husband
• Had the wedding of my dreams
• Bought our first home together
• I grew up
• Had my first son, Tyler Jon
• Had my first daughter, Genesis Nicole
• Went on my first mission trip
• Have all of my family with me
• Got some great news about at least one good thing I will get in my first year of being 30
• No wrinkles (yet) :)

I think I can go on, but those are the big ones. Great, great, things. Big things. Unforgettable things. I have a feeling the 30's are just going to hold so many things for me that are just the inevitable. Maybe it is because I am getting old, maybe its the fear of the unknown, still I think the 30's are going to have a rough start.

Yet, I hope that by the time I am in my thirties I can come back here and report how wrong I was. I can only hope my list looks half as good as the one I wrote in my 20's. Many women say that in the 30's they found themselves, they became empowered, and that things are simply better. Maybe, just maybe, that will be me.

Is it really that bad?

Some things in life down right suck. No other way to put it. If you stop and take the time to look at the things you care about though, you quickly realize, that it just doesnt really matter.

Here is my dreamgirl this morning, more ready to tackle a day than I ever will be.

Have a great week,
Veronica

A Moment In Time..

Seems like lately all the hype is in movies and shows that reflect people with super powers of some sort. Our personal favorites at home being Smallville, Heroes, X-Men..... makes me wish sometimes I could have a super power of my own.

I wish I could stop time. Well, honestly, I wish I can be invisible sometimes too, but for all the wrong reasons. HA! So I think stopping time would be the way to go. You can thank my husband for these crazy thoughts in the first place. He is the one that encourages me to even watch these shows. He is a bad influence.

Really though, time is getting ahead of me these days more than ever. I can't find time to do the things I want or need to do and the days are jumbling together so quickly.

I cry every year on Tyler's birthday. Just because my baby is growing up so fast and really all my life he is all I ever wanted, and in a blink of an eye, there he goes. In just 11 days my little man is going to be 4. That means pre school, little league, kindergarten, I just cant do it you all!
Next it will be cars, girls and prom, then I will really lose it. He is his own person, not the baby I had to do every little thing for, and I miss that. Sometimes I think I need him more than he needs me.

Genesis is going to be 3 this year too, in just a couple of months. The beautiful baby girl with curls everywhere, and chubby cheeks is looking like a little pint sized lady these days. Still gorgeous of course, but you can see lady like features now, not just baby ones. Her hair is so cute, straighter now with huge curls at the ends. Her cheeks, more pronounced now, no longer the kind you have the urge to pinch. Her eyes, truly the prettiest ones I have ever seen. There has been such I change in her this Spring my heart can't take it. She is the SWEETEST girl ever to top it all off. Kisses and hugs and I love yous are never scarce with her.

These two are simply no longer babies. To the world anyway, to me they will always be my babies. Forever.

I will be 30 this year as well. (talk about heart ache) In about a month. It is overwhelming. 2007 is full of BIG things for the Lara Family. When I sit and think about it, its really just incredible. I am in awe of the way life goes...and goes.....

For today, I will think about how grateful I am for everything I have and for one more day to be alive and share in this amazing world. Tonight of course, I will pray that I can stop time and just stay here, in this moment, right where I am for a little while longer.

You Just Might Cry Too.......

The kids and I had the greatest long weekend. I feel like we really got in some quality time. We went to pick strawberries, it was really hot, but we had a nice time, I will have to post some of those pics soon. Thanks to the greatest strawberries ever, we enjoyed great strawberry cake and strawberry smoothies, and I made John some strawberry margartias. On tonight's menu--Chocolate covered strawberries, yum-o.

We also spent a lot of time outside. They just love playing with their water table and playing in the hose and sprinklers. It was the best. It really wore them out, and they slept so good as soon as they hit the bed. The weather was just perfect, and it was really a great, great time.

Needless to say, this morning sucked. It is so difficult to leave on Monday mornings, and even more so after a long weekend. I hated to drop them off at Mimi's. I just wanted to hold them. They were so sweet that I can't seem to get myself used to it, and most Monday's I still cry after I drop them off, especially if I am alone without John. Tyler asked me to sit with him a while on the couch,and I had to say no because I was already running late as we hit some traffic. I hate saying no to him because he just doesn't understand why.

Counting down the hours til I get to go pick up my babies.......

~V

I'm Loving It

• The feeling of fresh cut grass on my bare feet.
• Worn in flip flops.
• The smell of freshly picked strawberries.
• My children's laughter.
• The delight of a long weekend.
• Sunshine.
• Cold water on my skin from the sprinkler..takes me back to my childhood.
• The little things.....

Have a great long weekend,

Veronica

At This Moment

Hello Friends. I hope this post finds you all doing well. Things have been same old same old for me though no day is ever exactly the same. Ordinary, I suppose is just not even possible with a 2 and a 3 year old, who needs ordinary anyway!?

Tyler saved my life this morning. LOL. He is always asleep on our way to dropping him off at his Mimi's but today my chatter box was awake. Talking to me, and talking, and talking some more, eventually waking up his sister who joins us in the conversation. These are the moments I live for.

All of a sudden he says :

"Mommy a bug!"
I say "WHERE?"
He replies, "right by you".

I tense up looking for the tiny bastard! I just can't stand any type of creepy crawly, yuck! Tyler says "mom right by you - by the wheel". How right he was! There it was, this little gross thing, with a red head or something, just coming my way on the dash. I pulled over of course and got him right out.

Genesis cheered. Tyler was interested in the well being of the bug, I explain that I didn't hurt it whatsoever, and he was glad. He will learn soon enough that his Mom is not brave and just cannot kill one. Oh gross, I cant even stand to hear the crunching sound when you step on one, ill. A friend of mine that I worked with tried to capture a bug or two countless times here at the office. She is almost as bad as me, we would scream, and laugh while she usually threw a cup or something over the nasties. I don't think Catie can step on one either!

I am thankful that he warned me of it! Knowing me, we would have been going down 55 chatting up a storm when I see that thing near me and I would have panicked and maybe rear ended someone or what have you. Thanks Tyler! I think this little boy will never know how many times and in how many ways he has saved his Mommy!

Other things I am thankful for at this moment:

* feeling well
* the unconditional love of my children
* having the greatest family ever
* being able to talk -uninterruptedly- to my kids for an entire half an hour before the craziness of the day
* having at least one true friend
* pants that fit -- ;)
* cute shoes
* right now
* the ability to just be numb

In The Blink Of An Eye

Ever hold the weight of the world on your shoulders and can't sleep for nights and nights and wake up so tired that your whole body aches without any relief? Yeah, terrible feeling, that's me these days. OK, so not so much the weight of the "world" I am not that brave, but just the weight of life, and my family , kids and friends is enough to do me in for some long lonely nights caught up in my own mind all by myself. That is probably the worst trap ever.

I was lucky enough to meet a wonderful client the other day though, and without even knowing it, she helps me get to sleep sometimes and put things in perspective. She is a mother of 2 grown women now and a grandmother to one little boy. She raised them on her own, a single mom. That right there tells you she is brave, brilliant, kind, caring, outspoken and gutsy right. She was truly awesome, and she doesn't even know it. She shared with me many stories, spoke to me about women rights, and enlightened me with the story of her daughters life.

When her daughter, Rachel, was only 29 years old (real awakening since that is my age), she woke up one day and her vision was blurred and she was blinking and nothing. So her husband took her to the emergency room. She got worse the next few days, she couldn't see, move or talk. They thought she would die. Doctors soon realized there was brain damage but they didn't know why. She slowly got a little better and was in the hospital for two months. It was later determined that she had MS.

The attack that almost killed her before they diagnosed her with MS left her with aphasia. This is a condition caused by brain damage that doesn't allow her to understand the entire world around her, and leaves her unable to find the words to express her self. Her entire world was simply changed forever. Nothing as it used to be.

With the love of a family a wonderful husband and son (I think he was only almost 1 when she had the attack and now is about 9 years old, I heard that this little boy, BEN, is completely in love with his mom, and she is his hero!), she is now able to drive and communicate a little better. Her hubby got them a one story home so she can get around, and now she even does some volunteer work. What an awesome story.

So if you are like me, lying there, trapped in your mind, pray it out. In the midst of all my chaos I am so thankful for EACH and every day. It is all such a blessing. The sun will still shine in the morning, life goes on all around us. Babies are born, flowers bloom, and butterflies come and go, try to take it in. My kids are becoming little people right before my eyes. They are my biggest love. As I lie there awake, sometimes with tears in my eyes, I am grateful for all that is around me and to be allowed the privilege of one more day. I go to sleep anxious to wake up the next morning and smell my babies and give them a big kiss as we start another beautiful day.

Nights can be an enemy if you let them. Life is a whirlwind that we have to try to keep close to our hearts in clear perspective. Take it in, as it can be taken away from us in literally just the blink of an eye! Life isn't a right, but really a God given privilege in my mind.

Lets live life to the fullest like hero's such as Rachel Polsky. You can read more about her awesome story here:
http://www.mult-sclerosis.org/news/Jan2002/WomanwMS10.html

With love,
Veronica

Happy Mothers Day!

Happy Mothers Day to all you Moms out there! Enjoy your special day.

My Mother

You told me what you thought ... but let me think for myself.

You told me what you saw.....but let me see for myself.

You told me where you have been......but encouraged me to go further.

You held me close to your heart........but never too tight for me to grow.

You always were my mother but became my best friend.

Author Unknown

Mom's See

the beauty in dandelion bouquets, and know the importance of declaring each and every drawing a work of art.

Mom's Find

the magic in blankets that become tents in backyard adventures, and stories that fall upon sleepy little ears.

Mom's Know

the fun of jumping on beds and hanging upside down, and giggles that just wont quit.

Mom's are the greatest,

especially ones who have the gift of seeing life through the eyes of a child.

BEFORE I WAS A MOM
Author Unknown

Before I was a Mom

I made and ate hot meals.

I had unstained clothing.

I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a Mom

I slept as late as I wanted

And never worried about how late I got into bed.

I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was Mom

I cleaned my house each day.

I never tripped over toys or forgot words of lullabies.

Before I was a Mom

I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom

I had never been puked on

Pooped on

Spit on

Chewed on

Peed on

Or pinched by tiny fingers

Before I was a Mom

I had complete control of:

My thoughts

My body

And my mind.

I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom

I never held down a screaming child

So that doctors could do tests

Or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom

I never held a sleeping baby just because I

didn't want to put it down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces

When I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small

Could affect my life so much.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom

I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small

Could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay

I had never known the warmth

The joy

The love

The heartache

The wonder

Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.