Is it over?

Seems like just when I was starting to get into the Christmas mood it came and went!

The kids had a wonderful Christmas though, and they are still stoked about opening all their new toys. Their faces are like magic on Christmas day, I just love to see their tiny faces light up!

My Christmas cards didn't get mailed out until Christmas Eve this year, I was so late! So, it is no surprise that now is when I get to post it here.

Anyhow, my thoughts were really in the right place, I promise! I hope you all had a great Christmas and an even better new year to come!

Love,
The Lara's

Twas the Night Before Christmas ...

And all through the house........

Not a creature was stirring......

Not even a mouse.........

I hope that you and yours had a wondrous Silent Night.

Sounds Like Christmas

I am finally feeling a lot more like Christmas. It snuck up on me this year. Don't get me wrong I LOVE Christmas, but I have so much to do that Christmas sadly became another thing on my list. Actually a lot more on my list.....shopping, tree, get lights, decorate mantle, stair case, kids trees in their rooms, cards, on and on the list goes. Pretty exhausting with three kids! To top it all off it was Thanksgiving then Bella's 1st Birthday, feeling like I am running a marathon of sorts.

Oh yeah, and what is the deal with Christmas merchandise being displayed in stores like by Halloween? If I am going to Target to shop for Thanksgiving, then I expect at least an aisle of the stuff! Not an end cap of some fake pumpkins, and three aisles of very premature Christmas decorations! I mean really, can I just savor the Fall? Every year this is becoming the case earlier and earlier and it is frustrating me! One of my pet peeves. Don't even get me started on radio stations playing non stop carols starting in November either! Bah Humbug!

I was switching the stations on the radio to normal music until about last week! I was getting so depressed because my heart shouldn't be heavy this time of year. It is not me. Then everything mentally started to turn around for me. Meagan and I are making gingerbread houses with the kids on Sunday, we have a Christmas party on Saturday, we are shopping on Saturday as well, the house is almost all decked out, and the kids are overtly excited. It's FINALLY CHRISTMAS for me.

I think part of what moved my spirit in the right direction is my children. Christmas through the eyes of a child can move me to tears. How wonderful for them and for us to be able to share in their wonder and excitement. The other part is an awesome Christmas album! It is titles This Warm December, A Brushfire Holiday Volume I, it is a compilation of new and old songs by some great artists, (among them, Jack Johnson, G Love, and Matt Costa) by BrushFire Records. Check out the link for a sample of all of the songs. On that link you can also upload a photo and have some fun. Here are the tracks:

• Someday at Christmas, Jack Johnson (awesome song!!)
• Santa Clause is Coming to Town, Mason Jennings
• All I Want for Christmas, Matt Costa
• No Christmas for Me, Zee Avi (I love this song and her unique voice, going to check more of her out!!)
• Stuck at the Airport, Money Mark (Gen's personal favorite!)
• Christmas Baby, G Love (on my top 5 list for sure!)
• Christmas Time, ALO (this one is touching to me)
• The Man in the Santa Suit, Neil Halstead
• Christmas, Rogue Wave (very moving!!)
• Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Jack Johnson (this version has an extra verse in it, we all love this one at home!)
• Silent Night, Zach Gill (a sweet version of a beautiful classic)

At Christmas time as of late, I get all emotional about all our men and women in the armed forces, so this one is for them. I feel very selfish stressing about Christmas "things" instead of worrying about what Christmas is really about! This song helps me keep it in perspective! It is the first track above.

Someday at Christmas by Jack Johnson

Someday at Christmas, men wont be boys

Playing with bombs like boys play with toys

One warm December, our hearts will see

A world where men are free

And some day at Christmas, they'll be no wars

When we have learned what Christmas is for

When we have found out what life is really worth

Then there will be peace on Earth

Someday all of our dreams will come to be

Someday in a world where men are free

Maybe not in time for you or for me

But someday at Christmas time

And someday at Christmas, they'll be no tears

All men are equal and no men have fears

In one shining moment my heart ran away

From the world that we live in today

And someday at Christmas, men will not fail

Take all because your love will prevail

Someday in a new world that we can only start

With hope in every heart

And someday all of our dreams will come to be

Someday in a world where men are free

Maybe not in time for you or for me

But someday at Christmas time

There will be peace on Earth,

I said there will be peace on Earth

I have to include one that is not on this album, but it is mine and John's all time favorite Christmas song.

Christmas Song, by Dave Matthews

She was his girl, he was her boyfriend

Shed be his wife, and make him her husband.

A surprise on the way any day any day

One healthy little giggling, dribbling baby boy

The wise men came, three made their way

To shower him with love while he lay in the hay

Shower him with love, love, love

Love,love,love

Love,love was all around.

Not very much of his childhood was known

Kept his mother Mary worried always out on his own

He met another Mary, who for a reasonable fee,

Less than reputable was known to be

His heart was full of love, love, love

Love, love, love

Love, love was all around.

When jesus christ nailed to his tree

Said oh daddy-o, I can see how it all soon will be

I came to shed a little light on this darkening sea

Instead I fear I've spilled the blood of my children all around

The blood of my children all around

The blood of my childrens all around.

So I'm told, so the story goes

The people he knew were less than golden-hearted

Gamblers and robbers,

Drinkers and jokers, all soul searchers

Like you and me, like you and me

Rumors insisted that he soon would be

For his deveations taken into custody

By the authorities, less informed than he

Drinkers and jokers, all soul searchers

Searching for love, love, love

Love, love, love

Love, love was all around.

Preparations were made for a celebration day

He said eat this bread but think of it as me

Drink this wine and dream it will be the blood of our children all around

The blood of our children all around

The blood of our children all around

Father up above

Why in all this hatred do you fill me up with love, love, love

Love, love, love

Love, love is all around

Father up above

Why in all this hatred do you fill me up with love, fill me love, love, yeah

Love, love, love

Love, love, and the blood of our children all around.

The kids favorite songs include Rudolph, Frosty, and I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas!

What are your favorite Christmas songs?

*Special thanks to Nathan for being our music library!

Oh Baby It's Cold Outside!

Being from Florida a lot of my friends and family from Miami ask me how do I face the cold in the mornings. Well, I guess after some years it is not that bad at all. I miss the warm sun on my skin and wearing T-Shirts in December, but for the most part I am beginning to enjoy it.

I hate prying the kids from a warm bed, but being raised here, they don't know any different, and they just don't mind it one bit. It was a gorgeous morning here with clear blue skies and cold crisp air. Gen and I had a Starbucks run on the way to her Pre-School. It was yummy and warm in our tummies. (Oh man, for whatever reason that sounds terrible since she is 4, please don't judge, I really do monitor what she drinks there!) Most of all I can tell that right at that moment we were bonding and making some more awesome memories.

It is now well past the morning, and I shift to looking forward to a cold night. I get to cuddle with my kids and since it is Friday I get to hang out with John under blankets while we watch a movie. Don't Blockbuster nights take on a whole new meaning in the winter?

I love warm blankets, cuddly socks, crackling fires, and tucking the kids in tightly in the winter. We are so fortunate to have the opportunity to appreciate the seasons here.

With winter fast approaching I hope your heart stays warm this season. My wish for you is that your blankets seem softer, your bed warmer, and the light of your fire more beautiful. Make it a point to hug the people you love, now and always ofcourse, but when you do it this season try to really put some thought in what you are doing, take it in. Doesn't it just feel so good?

* My little Gen on a cold morning enjoying some Starbucks!

Where the boys at?

Between the two girls and myself this blog is getting pretty girlie. There is definitely nothing wrong with that but I had to put some pics of my little boy up today. I love him so much! My first baby is really growing up!

A boy is truth with dirt on it's face, beauty with a cut on it's finger, wisdom with bubble gum in it's hair, and the Hope of the future with a frog in it's pocket.

-Alan Beck

Bella's 1st Year Baby Bullets

• Isabella Grace is one year old!!
• Her 1st party was a big success, she was adorable!
• Bella has really come to life this past month and is building a huge personality for such a little girl. Quite frankly she is funny. My baby is a trip! Last night she was giving me an awful time trying to get her to go to bed. The last straw was when she crawled away to the other side of the sectional, took her paci out of her mouth, and threw it behind the couch! Then she looked at me, and before I could say no ma'am, she was cracking up. Really laughing at me! Oh oh!
• She has 5 teeth now.
• Bella weighs 21 pounds and is 31 inches long.
• When she wants something you are eating she opens her mouth up and says "ah, ah, ah" , until you give her a taste. She is eating dairy now, and has just transitioned to whole milk, (nice on the wallet!!), she has tried just about all fruits and veggies and likes them with the exception of peaches. I don't give my kids any meat until at the very least 18-20 months, so she has some yummy new things to look forward to, but I may give her some tofu soon. Isabella Grace is loving cheese still, yogurt, granola, and some pasta now as well. It is so fun to see her try new things. She is really enjoying her vanilla smoothies too!
• Bella has added some words to her vocabulary, right now she is working on her own versions of: Mama, Dada, TyTy, Hello, Grandpa, Tete (which is her paci), and Nene (that is Gen). She also answers your questions by nodding her head yes, and no. That is so cute--very funny that she really gets the difference!
• She has got a head of hair on her, oh man, it is growing so fast!
• Loves her toys now, she plays very well on the floor with her toys, and barges in on Ty and Gen, she wants in on the action.
• Much to my dismay, it is time to bust out the beautiful baby gates, she can now high tail it up the stairs, very scary! We have to watch her every single second. She crawls so fast! I think it is the fastest and most precise crawling I have been witness to. I think she can walk any day now, but she is being lazy! I would be too if I could get anywhere I wanted to the way she does crawling. She must think, hey why be wobbly and nervous trying to take a step, I can get there at the blink of an eye this way, and then, she is off! Although, she has perfected standing up on her own without any help.
• Every day I just can not wait to get home and see her huge smile that she is forever flashing! She makes my heart melt and my troubles disappear in an instant. She fits so perfectly on my chest when we cuddle at bed time, I cant wait for another night and many more years to come! I love you Bella Bear!!

For John

John,

This one is for you. Sure, no one will understand it or know what it means, (well maybe just two other people), but I know it will make your day. Besides, if this earns me my comfy boots this winter, then I am all for it!!

John, you fed her cake 5 times. With butter cream icing too! Lucky girl.

Now about those boots.......which by the way look almost as sweet as a cupcake ;).

Vikki

I can't remember much of my childhood before I was 5. Just some tiny instances here and there. I remember being 4 1/2 years old. Mom woke me up in the middle of the night to say good bye to me and tell me that it was time to go to the hospital. She explained that I would meet the new baby the next day. I told her that I could not wait to meet my baby sister. For what seemed like the hundredth time she explained to me that it would probably be a brother. I was adamant it was a sister despite what the doctors had said. I knew she would be a girl. I was 4, I didn't really know, but I believed with all my heart. I was right, I helped name her Victoria.

We grew up together. We played hard, and fought harder. By the time we were preteens and well into the teen years, we were inseparable. There were some family issues when I was in high school, some nasty times came around. I became her protector. I tried to shield her from the hurt and deception, keep her heart as safe as I could, even though it seemed to her I was breaking it. Years later she understood and thanked me.

Through the years we built a huge bond. We became the best of friends, the best I ever had. I moved away, but we always spoke and visited. Neither of us ever missed anything in each others lives. I took her to shop for her prom dress. She was my maid of honor. She graduated high school and moved in with us. Vikki and I went to school together, worked together, lived together, cried and laughed, and grew -together.

When I got pregnant she was the second person to know, and she was there at my first OB appointment, and for nine months she was there, never missing a beat. She was my rock. My labor was 30 plus of hours of PAIN. No meds for well into 17 hours until I had to give up. Vikki cried, she tried to hide the tears, but I saw them. I couldn't tell her a thing, I couldn't tell her not to worry, I could barely breathe the contractions were so hard for so long. My heart broke at the site of her and me not being able to comfort her. She couldn't stand to see me that way, it was killing her. We both understood some how. She was there the entire time, until she had to get a sweater and some things...well she missed it. When she got back everyone had held Tyler, more tears. Talk about heart break.

Vikki was Tyler's everything for a long time. She stayed with John and I a few nights to help with a new born. When my milk came in she held my hand through it, and days later struggled to figure out a breast pump with me. She was his second mom. If she had not seen him in a week, she was over. Vikki always called, almost daily to check in on us.

By the time Gen came she was a pro. This time she went to the first ultra sound when I found out it was a girl, and this time she was in the delivery. That has some great stories in itself. Vikki now had two babies to spoil and love. Again she was always there.

Vikki and I planned all holidays and parties together. We shopped together and did all the things best friends do. We were able to talk to each other about everything and help each other through some great and hard times.

Tyler and Genesis love their Kiki more than anything. Vikki did everything with and for them. She adored those kids. Then something happened. She disappeared. Tyler asked why she didn't love him anymore, why did Kiki leave him.

When Bella was born, she didn't call the day before or the day of to wish me luck. (It was scheduled). On that day she didn't call to see how it went, or how the baby or I were. She never even visited. Not one call. Days later when she came around she was distraught to hear we almost lost her. What if's.

Now a days I am lucky if I talk to her once every two weeks. When we do talk it is because I called her. She doesn't call to talk to the kids. She never comes over just because or to see the kids. She lives about 11 minutes away, if that. When she does come it is because of an obligation. Other than that it is special occasions only.

I miss my sister. I am not sure where she went. I have a lot on me, I worry about a lot of things. If John and I were to die together all our assets and precious children go to her. She was the obvious choice. She loved them. She knew me better than anyone and would raise them the way that I would. I knew she would honor my wishes even when it would be tough on her. We asked her about this of course and she would expect nothing less. She accepted without batting an eye. Every detail she would abide to, signed her life away. I worried about that less then. Now that is a big worry again. I don't think I am so sure. Moreover, I worry about her. She is way up there in my list of worries. I know she is not herself, not happy, lost. I cant help, she wont let me in.

Sad part is I need her now more than ever too. Sadder part is that I realize what her burdens are and though she will not let me help her, I feel her. I understand her, she doesn't have to tell me. On my burdens though, she may know one, but that's it. She has no idea, she is clueless, I am alone.

Vikki has taught me a lot through the years. The last thing she taught me was to never put all you have into one relationship like that, not to count on one person so much. When they are gone if you don't have a back up plan it will be much harder to recover.

Maybe I did something wrong. Maybe I am the clueless one. In my defense, I have asked, I have spoken my piece....over and over again. If I were in the wrong I would do all I could to fix it.

I need my sister and friend back. I miss her. I cry at the memories and have tried to move on. Poor John has had to come clean up after my melt downs. He has been great in her place, I think he realizes the emptiness sometimes. It's not the same though, and he knows it.

I love you little sis. I miss you so much. We promised to never end up like Mom and Ana. We never could imagine how they became the way that they are, oh well. Hope you are OK. ....................You will never know.........................You will never read this.

SAY CHEESE!

Seriously, can you look at this picture and not smile?

Isabella Grace is ONE!!!! Her Birthday was on 11.29 and it went as perfectly as I could have hoped for. So look for some Baby Bullets and Birthday updates soon! Just wanted to spread some smiles around in the mean time.