Pots of Gold

Rainbow:

1. multicolored arc in sky: an arc of light separated into bands of color that appears when the Sun's rays are refracted and reflected by drops of mist or rain. The colors of the rainbow are conventionally said to be red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet.

No matter where you seemingly position yourself on these "arcs", undeniably there will always be a pot of gold at the end of your rainbow, whether you are climbing to the top, or sliding on a strong downward spiral. Just look in that special place that is in all of us, there they are.

My Pots of Gold:

- Came home last week and John said he had a surprise for me. The house was spotless, so I thought that was it. He took me upstairs to my closet, all my clothes neatly hung up and shoes all in order. I looked a little closer and let out a big scream. There, in the center of perfect tidiness, lay my Rainbow sandals. John cracked up and thought it was a classic V moment.

-New baby, new life! Welcome to the world Liam Nash Collins. (this name will undoubtedly be in lights some day, way to go Mom and Dad, I LOVE your little man's name!!) Congrats to Matt and Tiffany. Enjoy every second of your new family and treasure. Liam is absolutely perfect!

- We have all been pretty sick this week, so after a long day at work I snuck upstairs to take a hot bath hoping no little people would follow me upstairs. I drew my bath, laid out some PJ's and was feeling pretty impressed at the silence. I jump in the tub, and in the distance I hear the pitter patter of little feet, albeit one of my favorites sounds, the silence was too. Amazingly my bathroom door doesn't open as I soak. Then I hear Genesis in my room, signing. I love to hear her sing when she doesn't realize anyone is listening. I had the best bath ever.

-Bella pushing her grocery cart all over the house.

-Tyler's first loose tooth.

-Yummy dinners made by my honey which we have all been enjoying together as a family.

-The fire in the leaves.

-Streets covered in leaves of all colors.

-Genesis and I doing a Hello Kitty Craft and coloring. We did this OUR way, which means we had our coffee mugs in hand and fluffy socks on our feet. Just her and I. It was perfect.

-Cuddling with Isabella. She is so petite, and the perfect little cuddle size.

-Tyler passing every single one of his times Math tests, with flying colors. I worry all day, just to come home and see 20/20 in big red ink at the top of his papers.

-Hot coffee.

-Watching John try to earn a "coin" on Mario Galaxy. Watching him grow frustrated as he unsuccessfully attempts it while Tyler and I give him hell. Then watching Tyler have to do it for him. Daddy just hasn't mastered the long jump technique and without it there is NO COIN.

- My bed.

What are in your Pots of Gold? Every rainbow has one!

XOXO,
V

Desperately Seeking Rainbows

Dear Rainbows,

I have searched high and low for you, and have no idea where you can be. I thought an ad may be a great way to find just what I am looking for.

I am a size 6, with cute toes, usually painted just so. I would enjoy a long walk with you this evening. You are also about a size 6, but a size Small is what I think you prefer to be called. You have a beautiful dark chocolate color to you and a double arch which is quite smooth. I am very lonely without you.

It is Fall now, and I would really like to see a Rainbow right about now. I love the Fall as you know, and we did everything together this time of year. Most people use you in the Spring and Summer, but we partied all year, with the exception of maybe sometime in December and January. Was I not good enough for you?

Your sisters are still with me. They are pink and sweet, but getting tired and old. I miss the ability to have a Rainbow that matches with everything, and were even practically new. Your sisters enjoy the attention but are seriously missing you as well. Your spot in the room you shared with them is waiting for you.

Did you leave me for another? Did I upset you? Or do you think I left you? Are you somewhere alone and scared wondering where I am? Did someone steal you from one of our adventures together? Did I leave you stranded?

Wherever you are, I miss you! My feet miss you! My sweatshirt and jeans miss you! I will not give up the search. I will search high and low until I find that pot of gold at the end of the Rainbows!

Desperately Seeking Rainbows,
Veronica

PS In case my "old man" is reading this and thinking of a replacement.....I like pina coladas, getting caught in the rain, sorry I like Yoga, making love at midnight on the dunes sounds great, and I have half a brain. So find me the perfect Rainbow please. The perfect pair of Rainbow Flippy Floppies!! Anything short of a little desperate??

Love,
Veronica

Sophia Elizabeth

I am a slacker Blogger as of late. My extra time has been spent with my husband sipping adult beverages and catching up on us. With my kids picking Halloween costumes, decorating for Fall, and visiting Pumpkin Patches. It has been a busy but fun month. I LOVE FALL!!! Of course on "my" time I have been sipping those yummy Pumpkin Spice Lattes from Starbucks. I bought a very cute planner at the kids' book fair at Barnes and Nobles which I am in love with, and an even cuter Vera Bradley Coupon Organizer thing. The trick will be seeing if their cuteness entices me to use them. God knows I have to, keeping up with all of our appointments and school activities etc is getting to be quite the challenge in the Lara household. Anyhow, that is my recap in a nutshell.

In some amazing news, on September 21st I was able to see my niece Sophia Elizabeth, come into this world. My sister allowed me the honor to participate in the birth and it was an amazing experience. I will be honest, I was thinking a lot of things, which I am not sure if I should share, but I will anyway. Here are some of the voices in my head that night while I was witness to this incredible experience....(Vikki went in the to hospital at about 1am on September 21st, a Monday after laboring at home on and off on Sunday, and she was born at 7:07 AM)

• Wow, this is the first time I see my sister naked down south, this is so weird.
• OK, this is my little bratty sister, why isn't she screaming and yelling and falling apart on that bed? Bitch.
• What the hell is that? Oh My God, wait, that was me on that bed just two years ago....and then three years before that, and wait, only one year before that. Shit, I did this three times? In front of John and a male doctor? This can not be good. Shit, shit, shit.
• "You are going to break her water?" OK doc go right ahead, I am sleepy and I know when that water breaks there will be a baby a peaking. Break it, go on, do it. Oh no, wrong again, I should have turned around. That is some dirty water. Lots of it. The baby swims in that?
• Did you just poop?
• Nurse says "look at all this hair, take a look Auntie". I look and out loud say, "wait is that Vikki's or the baby's?" My bad, had I really done this three times? It surely wasn't evident.
• Aw, my little sister is so brave. She is engaging in conversation while a head peaks out of her girl. Now she is strong.
• "Tata" she says with sad eyes. "Yeah" I mumble. "The epidural really isn't working right now, at least not anymore." I respond, "I bet honey, when it is time, nothing works anymore." I am really thinking: "I mean you should see the size of that thing coming out of there, ain't nothing going to make you feel better."
• I become a better coach all of a sudden thinking of my own miracles..."Vikki, listen to me, don't lose it, you have done so well....." "Nothing will feel good now, that is until you get to hold your beautiful daughter in just a little while" She tears up. I tear up. She breathes through a contraction, and looks at me as if saying, all right, game on. Same glare she had in her eyes as a kid when we were competing in a sport or a shopping spree (those shoes are mine bitch kind of look, come on you know the one) And it was on. Her Mommy Game was in full force, that game face of hers, UNBREAKABLE! I knew it would be time.
• About 15 minutes later, not even, Sophia made her entrance into this world. Vikki didn't have to push much, but when she did, she gave it her all. She is sometimes laid back and lazy by nature, I think that was an asset in this case. In her little mind she must have been like, "well, don't expect me to do this much longer, it is now or never". And she was off. Efficiently pushing life out of her body. No cursing, just concentration. I held her leg and she gave it all she had. Then there appeared this tiny little wet body that I instantly loved, and then her Mommy looking at her so proud and relieved. It was miraculous and beautiful. I cried as I watched, and was shaking as I reached for the camera. She was so beautiful. Her and her Mommy both were at that very moment.

When Sophi arrived, I couldn't believe that although she wasn't my child, it was like if she was. I love her so much more than I thought I could. Maybe it was because I was there, maybe it was because Vikki and I are finally restoring our relationship and someone was looking out for us because I was there when it counted. I didn't miss this in her life. She was there for my first two births and we always talked about this day. There I was, there she was, and we aren't kids anymore just talking about it, so incredibly surreal.

Vikki gazed at her daughter for the first time, and it was so amazing to watch. Then the voice was back in my head, but now it was more forgiving. Now it reminded me:

• Of the tears in Johns eyes when he couldn't help me push, he wasn't looking at the nasty stuff, and if he was he didn't let me know it, but I knew that if he could do it for me, he totally would. How hard it must be for him to watch. Until helping Vikki, I never had this perspective.
• Reminded me what a full circle moment that must be for my Mom, to see her baby have her own baby. How crazy is that?
• I was reminded how for those hours, time stands completely still. The pain is unbearable but it doesn't matter. The worry is so great you can't even think, the reward so big you can't even begin to fathom it. Seriously, it is an elation of "nothing else matters". We are exactly where we are supposed to be for one of the few times in life. I remember pushing. Each time. Each time different. None of them easy. All of them the best me I ever put forward. Every time. Vikki put her best her forward too. I am so very proud of her.
• I realized how much harder it was to be on the "side" of the bed, rather than the one "on" the bed, enduring the events that took place. I wasn't going to stand there and say " I know it hurts", or "wait til this happens", or anything like that. So I stood there, wishing I could take her pain away. It was so hard to see her go through such feelings.

That's when the voice in my head got too loud, and I could have really cried out loud, but I didn't. I have said before how I remember the births of my children, and I do, but there is something about that first time. Vikki was going through that. I remember hearing Tyler cry. I remember his Daddy's face, so proud and in awe. I remember my Mommy's face. I remember trying to check him out. I could not believe that he was living inside of me. No way I got him out! But I did, just like she did, and as they say, the rest is history.

I hugged my kids tight that night. Enjoyed the smell of a newborn. Watched a living miracle right before my eyes. Listened to that beautiful new healthy cry. The one every parent wants to hear for affirmation all is well. Thought about how some parents heartbreakingly do not get to hear it. Thought about what it means to be a Mother. Thought about this unmeasurable miracle. Thought about how awesome it is to be a woman. September 21st was a good day. One that I will never forget.

Her initials are S.E.T. The advice I gave my sister that night was : "Ready or not here she comes little sis, ready, SET, go!" And to my beautiful niece I say, "Ready, SET, Go Sophia! The world is yours."

Welcome to the world Niecey Noodle.

We love you so much

Sophia Elizabeth Tollefsen!!

Sophia Elizabeth Tollefsen

9.21.2009

7:07 AM

7 pounds 10 ounces

19 3/4 inch long

Perfectly sweet in every way

Genesis Nicole

Genesis Is..........

Doodle.......I used to call her Doodle Bug...now it is just Doodle. Sometimes Princess Doodle.

"Beautiful Baby From the Outside In" .............. one of the many songs that her Daddy sings to her.

Nene................What Tyler and Isabella lovingly call her.

An awesome BIG sister, always there to help her baby sister. And an even more awesome LITTLE sister!

Tyler's Best Friend and Isabella's Role Model. Bella is always Nene this and Nene that....

A great singer. She loves to sing!! All the time! Sometimes unfortunately to Hannah Montana...but other times it is to Somewhere over the Rainbow which melts her Daddy's heart....or to one of his favorites (and hers too) Michael Buble.

A great dresser. She has amazing fashion sense for a 5 year old. Really amazing!

The loudest cryer I know! Seriously this girl can turn on the water works like nothing, and there is a loud wail to go with it. Nothing has changed, in the hospital the nurses took her for some tests and they kept returning her because she was screaming and couldn't do the hearing test! We were not allowed to take her until it was done and it took over three tries, over two days, she could be heard down the hall.

My little Drama Queen.

Very shy around people at first.

Helpful. So helpful. Her and I jam out to the radio and clean together, it is great fun! I mean she will do anything, pick up, dishes, load the dishwasher, and loves to do it.

Smart for a girl. In Ty's words not mine!! She will not let Tyler get too ahead of her, she tries to keep up with him as best she can. I know it secretly drives her insane that Ty can read and she can't quite yet. It is funny.

A pint-sized Julia Roberts. She has a smile that can light up the darkest of nights!

Good at pretending. She pretends to be my best friend, which she has named herself "Rachel". She can do this for hours.

Petunia. Just a word she likes and uses it often, especially when being silly. She calls us and Tyler that every once in a while. He just laughs at her. It is pretty cute in a silly way. Guess she completed her mission!

My soul mate and Daddy's baby girl.

My sleeping buddy, and boy can she cuddle!

A big fan of my good friend which I love like a little sister, and assitant at work Rachel. She cant wait to be older and she loves Rachel!! She loves her hair and clothes and apartment and college and on and on the list goes! She really looks up to her.

Our "Brown Eyed Girl". (another one she loves to sing!)

Italian I think, ha...she can tear up some Spaghetti and Meatballs.

The apple of her Grandpa's eye.

Grandma's Star.

A pony lover and a gymnast.

A Princess and a girly-girl. (one that can be so tough when need be though!)

A bit of a fibber at times; a stage we are hoping she gets out of soon!

My Starbucks partner. This year for her birthday she was able to go to the store and pick out her own gifts, among them was a hot pink, retro Barbie travel coffee mug! Really, what 5 year old picks that? So glad she did though, it is so cute I can totally borrow it! I love it!

Beautiful. Kind. Special. Clumsy. Loving. Caring. Thoughtful. Funny.

And best of all Mine!!

Genesis, I love you so very much Doodle! I know you had a wonderful birthday and we are so very proud of you in so many ways. I am so very proud to call you my daughter. Your name means new beginnings, and you are truly a new beginning for me in a lot of ways. Having a daughter was very new to me when I first held you in my arms that afternoon, but I knew nothing would ever be the same. It was definately a new beginning, one that I never want to end. I am so very lucky to have you Soul. You are amazing and I love you from the very depths of my heart, now and always. Continue to be YOU. You are perfect in absolutely every way possible.

Love Always and Forever,

Mommy, Daddy, Tyler and Bella

Been MIA

The days are really getting ahead of me yet again. In the past month this is what has been going on, you will see, I was MIA with good reason! These are random tid bits of my life now.......

• Genesis started Kindergarten ----- She did so much better than I ever imagined and I am so proud of her. She even earned Hedgehog of the week!! Gen has really been enjoying her new friends and teachers. Bittersweet as ever to let my little one go on that hard day. Her perfect little dress she picked herself, the cutest Hello Kitty lunch box and pack back, tiny sandals, and ribbon in her hair....awww heart breaking! I couldn't have asked for a better transition though. She is full of surprises this one!

• Tyler started 1st grade ------- He is loving his new class and teacher. He says to me "Mommy, she is young and pretty, and I know we will have lots of fun!" Gees, all true, the girl is super fit, young, intelligent (working on masters now) and beautiful, the class has 26 students, 18 of which are boys...I wonder how she will manage!! He is reading up a storm these days. He is such a big boy now, this teacher makes them write down all their assignments and such in an agenda. It is so amazing to see that he is getting the concept. He is only 6! I am 32 and can barely keep up with a planner.

(pics of first day of school to come soon)

• Vikki's shower has finally come and gone ---- She is about to have this baby any day now! I can't believe it! It has gone so fast and I will be an auntie again. SOOOO excited, this one is from my little sister ( I have a niece and nephew in Miami from my half sister which I adore but do not get to see much at all) The shower went great! She had everyone that loved her there, and my little sister looked absolutely radiant on that day. Absolutely gorgeous! I messed up though because I made her wear heels and she was super swollen for days after (she hasn't worn heels this entire pregnancy, and since I wore them almost every day all three times, I thought she could do it too) OOPS!!!

• Went to a breast feeding class with Vikki ----Breastfeeding is one of the most amazing, beautiful experiences ever. I loved doing it all the way through, it was very difficult at times as it requires the most ultimate commitment ever, but it went smoothly for my three babies and I. Incredible bonding and nutrition and healthy! Even pumped at work when I came back after 12 weeks, and I did great for eight months or so each time (did it for over a year with each, but I did supplement at the about 8 month mark) Anyhow, it was an honor that she wanted me to come with her. She wants to nurse and she looks up to the way that I did it, and has asked of my mentoring through her nursing experience. I am so pleased that she is giving her baby the greatest gift ever. I will be there to support her all the way through. One problem though....well for John, not for me, lol: (text messages)

John: You are sitting in a room full of titties. (don't mind his crude humor)

Me: Yes I am, but mine are still the biggest in here.

John: Yeah, those pregnant Moms have nothing on you. (is this supposed to be sweet?)

Me: Nope! This class is making me want another one so bad. Can we? What do you say?

John: Oh shit....I knew this would happen........ (classic)

• Genesis had her 5th Bday----- I will post a special blog for her soon!

• I had my 32nd birthday (oh the pain) -----seriously, NO NEED to revisit this one. Except my hubby got me some awesome shoes!! I took the day off and spent it with him and that was good enough. (It was also coincidentally the first day of school, that's right, for two years now I get to bitch about how old I am turning and then I have to give my babies up to the dreaded Kindergarten and cry all morning for two reasons!)

• Work has been kicking my ass ---- no really it has, and it needs to stop!

More soon........ Love and Luck!! ...............