Johns Tatts

A few months ago John sent me this cute and funny picture on my cell phone. It made me smile. He has a tattoo of Tyler's name (he got that one like a week or two before Ty was even born). When Gen was born he added hers. Now he is trying to figure out a way to tie the two together and he is not sure what he is going to do for Isabella just yet. In the mean time I guess he was getting inspired?

Let me tell you if John Henry Lara gets a tattoo with my name on it, I will definitely post it on here ASAP. I tease him about getting it often and I do not think that will EVER happen. In all sincerity I think that getting your significant others name inscribed in you is usually not the way to go. Moreover, it can be a bit tacky. I think he thinks so too, and agrees that with his children it is different (obviously). I still love to give him a hard time about it from time to time. Hence the pic.

I have given this some thought however, (scary I know), and I tell him he is stuck with me forever at this point so what the hell!? I am forever going to be the mother of his kids no matter what happens, so he will never forget me even if he tried! I mean he can try, but if he goes running away from his crazy wife he is too much of a good Daddy to leave those kids. I tell him that if he punks out and dips we will still have kids to share, call to check on, and recitals and games to attend, all which will help his mind to never forget me, lol. Might as well seal the deal I say.

Besides, I know he can not look in his daughter's eyes and not see mine in there, so he is pretty much screwed at this point. John is a smart dude though, he will never leave; the hot, steamy, mind blowing sex is just that good. ;)

Honey, if you are reading this, I know my name sucks, but my initials will do. Put them wherever you want, no one has to see them. You are a betting man, and aren't you willing to bet you would earn yourself even better sex? Love ya!

Glenn Beck

Lately I am loving Glenn Beck. I do not always agree with his views, but I just think he is great. I am drawn to him for whatever reason. I can't wait to get his new book The Christmas Story. It is a book about his childhood and I think the premise is that a sweater is the last thing he gave his Mom before she committed suicide. I am sure the book will be as captivating as I find him.

Between the kids needing things, and John hating to watch any kind of news or entertainment show and dying to change the channel on me I never get to watch an entire episode with out interruptions. I get just bits and pieces. When it is Glenn Beck, I will take it!

Last night in between my bits and pieces I caught a quote that he said which resonated with me. I am not sure if he was quoting someone or if it is his line, but anyhow here it is (as best as I can remember it).

Be the person you want to be not the person we have let ourselves become.

I think I will take this one with me and try to apply it.

I heart Glenn Beck!

Snips and Snails, and Puppy Dog Tails

I know babies don't come with a handbook, but someone needs to write one! In it there should be all sorts of crazy facts that expecting parents are to naive to even consider when they are in that complete bliss of awaiting their precious child. There should also be a section for Girls and one for Boys.

If you are anything like me, snakes and frogs, OK ESPECIALLY FROGS, are off limits. I don't like them and they don't like me, and that is just fine! That said, one would do anything for their children, and I have done just that. I have compromised myself, my life, everything in order to put them first and have them brought up the way I "think" would be healthy and happy for them. I hold myself completely responsible for a lot of things, and one of those is providing them a childhood they will cherish the rest of their lives. That is why there is currently a tadpole at home ( a HUGE one).

For the handbook-- If you are expecting a baby or planning on a family some day, there is a chance you will have a boy, and with that comes a lot of BUGS and ANIMALS. This summer we have housed, caterpillars, moths, ladybugs, meal worms, frogs, tadpoles, snails, beetles, lizards, and tripods, all courtesy of a very sweet and adventurous little boy and his spunky little sister. Be ready to welcome these lovely creatures into your porch, garage, and home if you really want to make your child gleam with happiness.

This morning was a morning that will be cherished for years to come. One that I can keep in my mind as one of those illustrations I blogged about a few days ago. You will be so proud to know that I consciously resisted the urge to get the camera.

Ty and Gen got to Mimi's house and on the way in they noticed some earth worms. These guys had to be the longest, fattest ones I have EVER seen. SO GROSS! They stop and look and ohhh and awww. Gen has her dear elephant "Lovey" in hand, and a huge blanket trailing behind her. Her tiny feet look so funny with her big Dora slippers on, her petite self so precious in her purple nightgown. Tyler is stooping over crazy over this worm, such fascination that he is stuttering over his words with excitement. Wow Mmmmooommm, look at ththththis. He is HUGE!! He looks like a snake. He is tripping over himself with his Cars fuzzy slippers looking so handsome with his football PJ . I have this huge bag on my shoulder and Bella in tow, three inch heels, and things falling everywhere. I started to say come on lets get in, but you know what? I stopped myself. I didn't do that. That small tiny observation made me step back and take it in.

I checked them out. I noticed how Tyler was loving towards his sister. "Look Gen, this one is hiding under the leaves." "Do you think we should get one?" I love to see how Genesis admires her brother, she was so proud of him for scoping these suckers out. "Tyler, how cool!" "They are too big Tyler!" "Tyler what are we going to do?"

The sun was shining, the leaves in the trees were yellow and scarce and most laid on the ground right beneath their tiny feet. It was really a gorgeous sight. Of course, they weren't done, but I eventually snapped out of it and told them that they were in PJ's after all, and that the blanket was getting germs, and that Bella needed a diaper change. After about another minute of plotting they came inside.

I had just enough time to put Bella down and they were off in the Adidas bag like crazy people. "Where are my Rainbows Mom?" Tyler yelled. "Tyler I got them" said Gen. They scurry about change the fuzzy slippers and into the Rainbows they went. Then off to the kitchen cabinets to grab Tupperware. (yeah Grandma loves this part). "OK Mom", Gen says. I am thinking "OK" what? "Mom, we are going to walk you out", Tyler responds. Yeah right, that's code for I am comfy in flip flops, the Tupperware is ready, and you are heading in the direction where those worms are so we are coming with you lady.

Today I bent over in slacks and heels and tried to scare the most disgusting thing ever in to my Grandmothers cherished Tupperware. Today I broke a nail on the sidewalk doing as such. Today I couldn't stop for coffee. Today I was late to work and my cell phone is broken so I couldn't even call in properly. (yes it is broken because Isabella has drooled in her favorite toy way too much ; that's another thing, nothing is off limits most of the times we parents give in to even stupid things, like letting her suck on the phone. Though I must say, she knows three words, Mama, Dada, and HELLO which she yells in to the phone, pretty priceless). Today I am sure that right beside that tadpole at home an earthworm will also be there.

Today I had an awesome morning. Today I admired my children. Today I hugged them tight. Today I watched there faces light up at something that was free! Today I watched their team work. Today I felt their love for each other. Today I saw them making memories and living a fun childhood right before my very eyes. I am thankful for today. Today I made an illustration. Today they made everything better.

I love you guys so much!! One question though, can we lay off the living things?!

My Body

I have lost a considerable amount of weight after Bella's birth, but not as much as I want to, or intend to. I say that because 5 years ago before the birth of Tyler I was at a more optimal weight for me. Then came two more births; Genesis just 13 months after Tyler (yeah wow is right, I didn't expect it either, and it sure did take a toll!) my weight then hit an all time high, and then came Isabella about 3 years after that. Now I weigh a bit more than I did when I first became pregnant with Tyler, but not as much as I did before Bella.

My body is a machine, and it worked to a maximum level. It endured an expanding belly, organs being compressed, compromised and moved around. My body created life, it nourished my unborn children, protected them, kept them safe, allowed them to grow. As if 9 long months of this wasn't enough it safely contracted these new born children out of my body during the ultimate test of labor. But, it wasn't done yet, a few stitches later it went on to produce nourishment for them after they were born and continued to take a beating that included pain and no sleep. I couldn't ask for a more polished machine.

No, I don't like what the scale says, neither am I ignorant enough to blame its short comings on the kids, not 100 percent. It is my lifestyle and other common denominators. Though I still would love to change some things, I have learned to love my body. I really do. I am comfortable in my own skin. I have many things to be thankful for in coming to this revelation. One of those things is John.

Angelina Jolie, could not have said it better when she was talking about her body in an interview with People magazine, she went on to say this about her body and Brad Pitt:

"I'm with a man who's evolved enough to look at my body and see it as more beautiful, because of the journey it has taken and what it has created," she says. "He genuinely sees it that way. So I genuinely feel even sexier."

Not that she has anything to worry about, but it doesn't matter how perfect you are, when you are a woman and you go through the miracle of creation your outlook changes completely on yourself and hopefully for the best!

Right Now

I am working on some things right now...here they are...

1. to never go to bed mad at my husband, children, or myself
2. to stop being so hasty in the mornings even when we are late (John, I need your help with this one)
3. to be a better mother
4. to be a better wife
5. to be a better friend
6. trying to figure out a way to earn more money
7. finding out how I can cram a full days list of things to do in the 24 hours available without going to bed at 2 AM.
8. as an add on to #7 I am trying to get more sleep
9. need to spend more time, quality time, with my kids
10. stop raising my voice so much
11. not letting the laundry pile up
12. continue reading more (I did get done with my book a few weeks ago and am getting ready to start the next one)
13. make some me time

What are you working on?

Getting IT Done!

A couple of weeks ago I went over to Shayna and Ryan's. It was a Monday night so we had pizza and the boys watched football, and Howard Stern of course, then Shayna did my hair. Shayna's parents own high end salons in Cary called JF Gemelli. These salons are so nice, and these people can do some mad hair, her Mom Royce is amazing! (if you are local you should check them out, just click here).

Anyway, if you know me at all you know I have an ungodly amount of hair and it is long to boot. Not an easy task to accomplish in a home rather than the salon. We decided to do it at her place because it was just easier with our schedules and that we can all hang out anyway, but I think we learned our lesson.

We started in the kitchen, there were bottles of stuff everywhere. It looked like a mad scientist lab. Then there were a ton of foils in the sink too. We attempted to wash this long mane in the kitchen sink, proved to be difficult. For the final wash we moved to the bathroom. I sat on a bench on the edge of the tub and Shay got in the tub and washed it all out, she was soaked.

We couldn't stop laughing. She kept saying "this is so ghetto". That made me crack up, all I kept thinking was how funny we must look doing this. It took her hours. It was so much work for her this way. She didn't have all the plush conveniences she was used to and it was crazy. She was stressing out, so all I could hear was "Ryan, bring me a towel". "Ryan get me that chair." "Ryan I need another towel." "This is so ghetto." "Oh man I got dye on the counter." "Crap I messed up your skirt" "Wait Veronica I have to go switch mt shirt." "THIS IS SO GHETTO." Meanwhile, I can hear all sorts of raunchy things that one should never really hear in the background coming from Stern. So funny.

When she was done, she was exhausted. So it was time for a quick shot to celebrate! I wanted to help her clean up the mess that we had everywhere, but she was like NO WAY, I will do it in the morning. When we left she just passed out for the night.

Shayna, thanks for all of your trouble. It was fun in a way though, you have to admit. Sorry for being Rapunzel. Next time, we can do it the easy way. OK?

"This is so ghetto"........well yeah Shayna it is....just like a light show......."word"..........

(I love this blog, I get to say all sorts of things that I would other wise never get the opportunity to say, lol)

Illustrations

Lately I have been looking at the world around me, or my family and children, and I think about how I don't want to forget that particular moment in time. I wonder if I will forget. It is sad to think that I may.

The kids are growing so fast these days. I don't want to forget the way each of them are RIGHT NOW. Genesis in her adorable dress and tights with her hair done just right for her first picture day at preschool today. Tyler with his mischievous smile and bed head since he fell asleep on the way to school. Isabella in the cutest little sailor type Timmy Hilfiger dress that was passed down from Gen. John with his sad sexy eyes because he is feeling sick today (not that I want him to be sick, but the sweet eyes I can deal with). The beautiful red sunset the kids and John and I admired on Saturday......the perfect Fall day that proceeded when we visited a local pumpkin patch ....etc......

Wish I can keep all the snap shots in my head as a picture book with an index. Then I can just look it all up right there like a Rolodex, right at my finger tips, anytime I want to.

I am trying to concentrate on living in the moment. Taking my family and everything around me in as much as I possibly can. Maybe these moments can even be more than just mere illustrations if I actually touch them, live them, enjoy them.

We have a family camera at home; it is a fairly large one with a big lens. I begged and begged for a small on that I can keep in my purse. It is an adorable pink Sony Cybershot. Obviously my husband was nice enough to get me what I wanted (not without a fight of course). Now I wonder if it was a hindrance. The pictures in a disk or a camera are no substitute for the illustrations in our minds and hearts. I think I am going to take up mind sketching now!

Bella's Baby Bullets

* with her proud Grand Daddy

• My baby girl is now 10 months old! Growing up so fast!
• Bella is weighing in at about 21 pounds and about 27 inches long.
• She is a mischievous little one that's for sure. The picture below was taken during one of her favorite past times. Her Daddy swings her around like he is a human roller coaster (can you see the "speed" in that pic? weee!!!!!!!!! ) while she is strapped in her car seat. I cringe and try not to look, John loves every second, and of course so does Isabella! She cracks up in pure delight. When Daddy is done she looks at him as to say, hello, why did you stop!?

• Still sporting just two teeth on the bottom, but they are still so cute.
• Right now she has a little bit of a cold and she looks so pitiful and makes me sad to see her that way. She can't decide if she wants to suck her paci, or spit it out to breathe etc. Same deal when she is trying to drink her bottle. So pitiful when I cant do anything about it.
• Can you say CHEESE? Her diet is still limited, I am pretty natural when it comes to their diets especially when they are so small, but she is now eating cheese! I have to basically crumble it up for her, then she takes her index finger and thumb and pinches the tiny pieces and eats it all up! Entertains her for a good while too. She is also eating organic yogurt now. Yumm-O!

• She is weighing about 21 pounds and is 27 inches long.
• Bella also loves to play peek a boo. She looks for us behind walls, under sheets and pillows, and everything else we can think of.
• She is crawling very well and pulling herself up very successfully too.

* At the museum pulling herself up in front of a fish tank. "look at me Mommy, like the bid kids!" boy was she angry when it was time to go!

• Her next favorite thing to play is tag. She loves it when we pretend to chase after her while she crawls away, we act as if we can't get her. She literally loses her breath the laughter is so big. The joy in her eyes when we play with her on the floor like that is priceless. She makes my heart equally joyful. These are the memories that I want snap shots of in my brain forever.

I absolutely adore you my one and only Bella Bear!