All Grown Up

Here is Tyler's first school picture ever. It is from his preschool, Primrose.

It is quite the milestone for my little guy so I just had to share it.

He is so handsome in this one. It is bitter sweet.

I can't imagine that he will be in Kindergarten this summer.

Where has the time gone?

BANG BANG

So I won't keep you in suspense much longer. Bang #2 happened a couple after the accident. This one was worse than a silly car. This one involved my princess Genesis. She is an accident waiting to happen. She goes and goes and thinks she is pretty much invincible. I have decided this is a preview into the future with Gen, and I am scared!

This time the poor girl wasn't doing a thing wrong. She was having her bath and I was sitting on the toilet right by her getting ready to get her out. I was helping her out, she had one leg out of the tub and the other one still in the tub. Imagine she was basically straddling the edge of the garden tub. When she was making the movement to get the other leg over that one slipped and so she fell right on her you know what. OMG!! She is such a diva though so I knew she would cry--A LOT. I wrap her up in the towel and sit her on me on the toilet and I convince her that she has to be a big girl and stand up so that I can make sure she was OK. At this point I knew it hurt like holy hell but I wasn't thinking much was wrong. Finally when she stood up, looking so pitiful with tears in her huge brown eyes and wet tiny body, I couldn't believe it, she let out a big scream and with it came a gush of blood all over me and the towel and the floor.

First instinct was to pick her back up and rush to the hospital ,which I did and when I got to the garage I realized I was nursing Bella and we were at grandma's so she had no extra milk. It was freezing cold out and Gen was soaked, and a mess, I couldn't begin to put her in the car seat. I opted for the ambulance and called John and told him to get there ASAP. The paramedics were great, but dead wrong. They told me she thought she broke her hymen. NOT THE CASE!! We called the pediatrician while they were there and asked if they wanted us to take her to them or to the hospital, they said to them. We rushed over. Gen was bleeding still and the Dr. explained that she cut herself on the inner part of the labia. Because of where it was, he made some calls to specialist and decided it was better that she didn't get stitches and he taught us how to care for it and we were on our way.

She was in a diaper because of the bleeding, and it was still substantial, but somehow the little brave girl did get some sleep that night. The next morning was up there with one of the worse days of my life. Upon opening her diaper to change her, John about fell over, and he doesn't do that often. There was a huge mass of blood in it, and I mean HUGE and a lot of blood so back to the pediatrician we went. It continued this heavy the entire day. From there they sent us to UNC bc there are pediatric gynecologist and anesthesiologist there as well. They said they weren't sure what was going on bc the tear was tiny compared to what was coming out and it was entirely too much blood.

At UNC after hours, she went into surgery. She actually severed an artery in there which was causing the bleeding, they had to burn to prevent it from continuing. The pediatrician was right, it generally wouldn't have needed to be stitched but there was no way of him knowing about the artery at that point. What are the chances!! If it can happen, it will happen to Genesis I tell you. They did put some stitches in there while they were there. Seeing her put under tore the heart right out of my chest, especially when they wheel your baby off and you cant see her or what they are doing to her. Seeing her come out of it all drugged up and scared wasn't much better.

We went through weeks her screaming bloody Mary anytime she had to use the bathroom, understandably so, but she is finally all better. Still to this day she doesn't let us wipe her too well so I am not sure if she is in pain or traumatized, or a bit of both. I am thinking let it ride a little longer and if that doesn't work, we will take her in again. I am just trying to avoid that at all costs for her sake. You can imagine.

Still after all that I see how lucky we are to have healthy children. Being at UNC opened my eyes to so many tragedies, we were probably one of the "lucky" parents there that day in spite of it all. I am so eternally grateful!

Starting 2008 With A BANG

Literally speaking; and two bangs at that.

So the first one happened on 01/10/2008. 10 days into 2008, which I may add I brainwashed myself into believing would be the very best year of my life, so much for that.

I was on my way to pick up my sister so that we could go work out. Boy, I surely didn't feel like it. It was late, I was exhausted from new mom syndrome, and had a little spat with John. Still, I went on my way. Almost to Vikki's house, and BANG! I had an accident, I won't bore you with the details, mainly because it was mostly my fault. Gees, next time I will follow my instinct and stay home and order a pizza, that's what I really felt like doing anyhow. I was so lucky the kids weren't with me of course, and I was OK as was the other guy I hit. So all in all I am so fortunate to have walked away.

Come to find out I totalled my van. Great. I got that van shortly after Genesis was born in 2004. It was brand new. It was a Nissan Quest. Now, I don't like mini vans, never did, but with the two kids and all the junk that came with them, it was a necessity. I looked at vans, and after all the looking, this one ended up being the beefiest, coolest van out there and we took it home. After time, I grew quite fond of my girl, and now, she is gone. The kids still even ask for it from time to time, the want the "red car mommy".

Off to car shopping we went. John is the BEST! I really liked a Pacifica, and when we almost got that, we saw a Durango that was so COOL! I loved it. It was out of our price range though. Still, John wheeled and dealed his way into getting me what I wanted. That is the theme around the house though, I will half way admit, I am a spoiled brat. (thanks honey!) He would have to admit however that he really wanted this truck as well.

I am definately a truck girl. I love Denali's, Hummers, some Jeeps etc....This Durango has been my favorite car EVER. I had a Nissan Exterra I loved before that van (we traded it in for the van b/c of the "kid" situation) but that's nothing compared to this car. It has it all; leather, heated seats, TV, awesome sound system, third row seating, driver memory, a hemi, really really awesome, and it is so pretty to look at too. One of the best things for me, being almost 5 feet tall are the adjustable foot petals and the fact that although it is so big I can totally see! I can see perfectly. For me this car is more than a car, sure it looks great, and it is probably the nicest car I have ever driven, but with the three kids now I need the room, and I need to feel good. I feel secure, safe and confident in this truck, it's really great. Not to mention, younger. I mean three kids, the big 3-0, and a soccer mom van was really really killing me, lol.

Bad part is, lets see how long I can keep it. Gas is fricken killer!! I am talking like at least 20.00 a day in gas with all the driving I do to and from work, sitter,and going to feed Bella at lunch, it is taking a toll. So sad to get rid of it. In the mean time, I will continue to fight with John over who gets to drive it, (he thinks we need to share it so that we are better on gas, but with his real estate go here and there bull crap he doesn't see that he will burn more gas than me, even when he thinks he isn't going anywhere that day because something always comes up, like say TODAY!) and of course, try to keep "Rango" in one piece.

Christmas 2007

I have always just loved Christmas. It is simply the best time of year. A busy one this year of course. I was on the go, shopping, feeding, changing, taxing, photographs, doctor appointments, on and on the list went. Christmas cards were sent LATE, very unlike me, that was the worse part I think. It was just a very hectic time with three kids and a newborn at that.

Ever since I have had kids though it is completely different and all the more special. I remember Tyler and Gen's first Christmas and now I was able to have a first Christmas with Isabella Grace. It was something indescribable to have a newborn at Christmas. She captured the innocence and pureness of Christmas in her being and I really think that it had a great impact on our entire family. Christmas is so beautiful through their eyes. We were all together, healthy, happy, and fortunate to be reminded of the real reason for the season through a new born miracle sent from up above, what more could we ask for? Thank you God, and thank you Isabella Grace Lara. Here's to many more Christmas's together to all of us.

Bella and The Brace

When Bella's was 4 days old we took her in for her routine check up. She was doing well thus far, lost about a pound (which is normal), was a little jaundice but nothing to be concerned with, and we thought we were home free. At the last minute the doc was checking her legs and hips and found what he calls a "hip clunk". Basically he explained that babies are born with hip bones and sockets that are not yet hardened but rather, more like cartilage so that they can flexibly grow in the womb and go through birth. The "soft" bone has to be aligned with the hip socket so that after time as it hardens it fits perfectly in the socket for proper growth etc. Upon his checking he heard them and they apparently were not aligned and there was a reason for concern and he referred us to a pediatric orthopedist.

The pediatrician was right on. The x-ray revelaed that the bone and socket were not properly aligned. He called it hip dysplasia. (first the shoulder and now this, too much "dysplasia" if you ask me!) If the condition went uncorrected the bones could fuse improperly and cause problems like pain, or even one leg to be longer than the other or other complications. The severity wasn't terrible and her prognosis was good he said, but she would have to wear a brace. it is called the Wheaton -Pavlik Brace.

The aim of the treatment of hip dysplasia is to hold the hip in the reduced position to allow the head of the femur (the ball) to mold the acetabulum (the cup). According to the site and the doctor, it is used to treat hip dysplasia by holding the hips in a position of controlled flexion and abduction. Unlike a cast, the harness does not rigidly immobilize the hips, but allows movement in a controlled manner. This allows the head of the femur to deeply mold the acetabulum, stabilizing the hip.

My poor baby girl had to wear it 24/7 for 5 weeks. It wasn't the end of the world and it all could have been much worse, but my heart still hurt to see her in that brace. It made nursing hard, cuddling hard, sleeping and dressing a problem and changing her diaper was not an easy task. She couldn't wear shoes (OK, if you know me at all, you know this was a problem!) and her wardrobe which was filled with the cutest stuff, went mostly untouched.

The kids were a bit freaked out by it and I lost a whole lot of sleep. If this didn't work there was a cast they would put on and also surgeries. I couldn't imagine that at all. It would just kill me. I cry seeing other babies in them at the doctors office I couldn't imagine Bella in one.

After the 5 weeks, the doctor decided that it was OK for her to wear it only half of the day. So YIPPEE she wore her clothes and for the most part just wore the brace at night.

At her next appointment 4 weeks after that he said she can stop wearing it because he wanted to see what the hip would do on its own at this point. He wasn't totally happy with the depth of the socket, he felt it was still a little shallow though. So now I worry and wait some more to see what that little leg bone does on its own terms. We go back first week in May I believe , so that we can check on what it is doing. Say a prayer for us. It would be a trying time for a toddler that wants to crawl and start to explore to be confined to a cast or worse yet a surgery. I am however hoping for the best, I have high hopes because after all he did choose to remove it, and if I am staying positive I would like to think that if it were that bad he would not have chosen to go that route. Right? Right.

There is a pic of little Bella in the Brace. I hated to see her in it so I tried to hide it in most of the pics, but there is a bit of it you can see across the top. Her legs are what looked so depressing and uncomfortable though, but that has passed and I am only looking forward for now and praying my little heart out for now. With those prayers also comes a bunch of thank yous because even after all of this, I do see just how lucky we are if I step back and see the big happy picture.

Isabella's First Portraits

Isabella was only 6 days old in these pictures from her first portrait sitting. Here are just two of my favorites. I absolutely love newborn pictures. I appreciate them even more now that I know just how fast they grow. Robin Cotten in Fuquay Varina is our photographer and she has the most amazing talent of capturing all these special once in a life time moments for us. She takes all of our kids pictures and she has from day one, THANK YOU MRS.ROBIN!!! Check out her work at robincotten.com. She is incredible. There are lots of pics of us in there too! There is an adorable one of Gen on the home page pushing a stroller. One of us in the maternity section, as well as the newborn section, Ty in the 4-6 year olds, and Gen in the 1-3 year olds...and many others. We really just love her.

First Touch

Tyler and Genesis finally got to meet their baby sister. I was so excited to catch their reactions! Tyler is really a pro at being a big brother, he went right to her and wanted to check her out and hold her tiny hand. I just love the close up of their hands together. He was all smiles ear to ear and couldn't wait to hold her from the very start. He is a natural from day one. Since Baby Bella gave them a "gift" I am sure that helped soften the blow. He loved that Baby Bella came with a dinosaur just for him.

Genesis on the other hand proceeded with caution. The look on her face was unforgettable. Poor thing, it was a combination of terror, sadness, and shock all in one. I think it was just too much for her. She didn't speak. After a minute though she bit the bullet and followed Tyler's lead and held her tiny hand for all of a split second. Bella "brought" her a Barbie doll she had been wanting but Gen wasn't as impressed as Tyler was with her gift. She needed more time to let it all sink in I think. I am sure she will be teaching Isabella all sorts of Princess games in no time though!

Did a Baby REALLY Come OUT of Mommy?

I can't imagine all the things that went through these little ones minds with this ordeal. They are old enough to understand that something was happening, but still so young where they don't process the "how" and don't really get the implications of it all. They really amaze me though. I am sure it went a little something like this, their faces tell the entire story:

Genesis: OK, they tell me we are going to go see Mommy at the hospital. I already got a tour of that place and it sure was weird. Now I finally get to see Mommy and she shouldn't have a watermelon in her belly anymore because the doctor took the baby out. Tyler, I just dont know about this yet.......

Tyler: Oh Gen, come on, how bad can it be? Lets go see Mommy already, I hope she feels good. I was really worried because it was going to hurt. .... there she is! Mommy, what are all those things on you? You look like a mess! Where is that baby everyone is talking about?

Genesis: Tyler, I still just don't know. This place is scary, and I am not sure I want a sister right now at all. Oh no Tyler, there she is!

Tyler: It's OK Gen, remember we were getting the birth announcement for the yard ready at Mimi's because she is finally here, there she is, lets touch her Gen! Come on, I will go with you!

Genesis: Tyler you are crazy, we got ready and all, but she looks funny and I just want my Mom to myself! I am supposed to be the baby.

Tyler: Genesis at least you got a sister, I really wanted a brother! Grandma, come on get that baby away from Mom already I want to check her out!!

Bella's Hospital Pics

Happy Birthday to Isabella Grace Lara

That is my baby girl's announcement up there and yes you read it right, 9 pounds, 3 ounces! I myself don't know how I did it, but first things first..........

We were supposed to be at the hospital at 6:30 A.M. but if you know me, you know I am late for everything, and this was no exception. First of all, I was terrified so I got NO SLEEP at all the night before, and I couldn't leave the kids, it was tough, but I guess I had to get over it right? Finally got there at 7:30 A.M between one thing and the other.

I was basically asking for an epidural as I walked in the room. I went drug free with Tyler for about 14 hours out of the 31...Gen came in 4 hours and I had JUST had the epidural when it was time to push so I basically did it without a thing (the most painful thing ever!!)..so long story short, this time I was ready and begging!

After a quick check I was about 3 centimeters already, promising I thought. At about 8:30 they started the Pitocin, about 10:00 epidural, about 10:15 broke my water, about 10:38 time to push. 10:46 Happy Birthday Bella!! Not before some scary stuff though.

When the doctor got there for my first push I heard him say to the nurse that the shoulders would be a problem. WHAT? Not a cool thing to hear AT ALL by this time, but she had to come out some how. He wasn't kidding. I was pushing for the Dr. and nurse, and about 3 pushes into it he called for massive help....all of a sudden lights were shining everywhere and no kidding, there were at least 13 medical people in there, he was yelling at them, John had tears in his eyes, and I was so confused, I had no clue. I asked once what was happening, John said, "just push baby" and the doctor screamed at me and said, " this is no time to talk save it all and push for me now, push now!" I did, but nothing, her head was out, but I couldn't get the rest of her out. Nurses were pushing on me, and finally with that last push, and their help, (they were literally putting all of their weight on my belly to get her to come down--ouch, took my breath away) I thought my head would explode, when suddenly I heard the most beautiful sound ever!! She was here! I still didn't know what went on at that point, but I didn't care. Not about me , not about anything , just her! John was with me for a second, but he says I sent him to go be with the baby. I don't recall that, but he was impressed with that action of mine, I think it was just me instinctively wanting to protect her and make sure she was OK.

I looked over and couldn't believe she came out of me. Yeah I have done this before, so what, its not normal its amazing, its incredible, its different each time. She had these prominent eye brows and she was sooo BIG! She looked like a little sumo wrestler, and I think I voiced that, oops. No wonder I thought she would come out any second! In all her grandness she is still so small and vulnerable. Really 9 small pounds and 3 tiny ounces after all. Tiny hands with long slender fingers, small totally edible feet, the cutest nose ever, rosy cheeks and her cry was just the sweetest of all.

Then the doctor was working on me, there was talk that I was losing too much blood. I was kind of beginning to lose it, I was so out of it. Bella crying, John taking pics, and me just dazed! The doctor told me that when he was removing the placenta the cord broke and therefore he literally had to put his hand in my uterus to make sure that he got it all out. So, to prevent infection, I had to have antibiotics via IV for the rest of my stay, along with more Pitocin. That meant more contractions, so that my uterus can expel all that it had to, which meant more blood. The nurses just kept an eye on the heavy bleeding and luckily it held up eventually.

After he got me all situated he came and told me what happened during the delivery. It is something called shoulder dysplacia (sp?). Basically she was too big to fit through my small pelvis. There are a number of maneuvers he can use to get the baby out when this is present, with me he used all of them and was about 5 seconds from him taking extreme measures to get her out he explained. The next maneuver would be to break her clavicle, this would sever a nerve which would leave her arm misplaced for life, like with her elbow facing forward in stead of back, then he would break the other one if she was still "stuck" so to speak. Next step would be to get me an emergency C-section, but he said that with her head out, and not breathing, her chances of survival would be decreased dramatically and still no guarantee he could get her out that way. Last thing would have been to break my pelvis. After all that trauma, I thank God he was my doctor and that he got her out safely, even at the very last second, with my "last chance" push!!

My diva apparently wanted to make a grand entrance, and boy did she ever. After being with her these months, and getting to know her I think maybe I need to get ready for this type of behavior from her. She is pretty laid back, a GREAT baby, but I think she will use it to her advantage, and definately do things on her own time from here on out!

The rest of my stay went well. No infection, bleeding was normal, but best of all Isabella Grace Lara was perfect in every way. I distinctively remember the first time I held each of my babies, same with her. She was so delicious, she felt so good. The smell of promise and hope she possessed made me cry. Her perfect everything showed me once again how good God is to me. The fingerprints of Jesus we were truly all over her, nothing that awesome can come from anywhere else. I didn't want to let go. I thought of the great times ahead and watching her grow. I thank Him for entrusting His precious baby girl to us, my baby girl now, if even for a season. Who am I kidding, she will always be my baby girl.

M.I.A -BUT- I'm Baaaccck

Hello Everyone! I know, I know, I have been gone for what seems like forever. I have been M.I.A. and I am so sorry! Thanks for all of your calls and emails though, they meant so much to me! We have all been doing great, just adjusting to the madness having a newborn brings into your life, and of course the overwhelming happiness that comes with them as well.

Bella will be 4 months old on the 29th, I can hardly believe it! Whew, time is just FLYING on by. I have so much to post about, so in the next few days, I will get you all caught up. I will post retroactively in separate posts so that you can pick and choose what you want to read.

For sure I will get you to how we went from this: (about to pop)
To this: (Bella just 5 days old; Mom and Dad, exhausted; Ty and Gen, still in shock)

I just came back to work on the 10th and boy did it ever suck. My heart was breaking to leave my babies, and still is, every single morning. I had a great maternity leave with them. We went to puppet shows, indoor play places, the library, to visit family, the museum, events at Tyler's school, to visit family and friends, and really I just spent some overdo quality time with my kids. We cuddled, laughed and played. We stayed up late and slept in, and enjoyed every minute of it. Looking back I see all the projects that I didn't get to and while I feel a bit guilty, I realize I did exactly what mattered the most, and it was a good thing.

OK, I will get to posting, posting, posting.....

Love, V