We Love You Max

Our beloved pet chameleon MAX passed away last night.

I shed a tear and then it was time to break it to the kids. Mainly Tyler.

John didn't want to tell them but I thought we should. They go say goodnight to him every night and I was afraid they would notice.

Max must have just died. He was on his branch peacefully sleeping. He looked healthy, with gorgeous green and orange colors. So I decided they can say a proper good bye to him while he still looked so good. Less traumatic, I thought.

I told them.

*Above is a tiny and shedding Maxameleon when we first brought him home.

*Tyler above showing off his little dude.

Tyler cried and cried. He was devastated. He has already planned a funeral for Max. He wants to put him in a small box and bury him in the back yard. We are all to take turns to says something nice about MAX. He has a rock that is painted green that he collected from a Superman birthday party, it is supposed to be kryptonite. He wants to write "MAX" on it and place it where we put him to rest. Tyler then rushed off to call Grandma and tell her the bad news. Tears running down his face and bottom lip just trembling the entire time.

* Gen in her pajamas saying good night to baby Max.

Gen whimpered a bit and was very quiet and stressed out. In typical Gen style however, she shook it off and then said "OK, so now can we go get a cat like Rachel's?" That's my girl, never ever pass up a window of opportunity.

Gen was trying to make Tyler feel better the entire night. She played trains to appease him, let him pick the better crayons, and even let him sleep with her elephant. They were pretty stressed and they weren't asleep until way past midnight though. Somehow they managed to make it to school today.

We will miss you MAX.

Are You Kidding Me?

John always laughs at me because whenever I am very frustrated I let out a big "Are You Kidding Me?? "For example, if one of the kids has an accident in their pants, you will hear "are you kidding me"...if I walk in on them drawing on the wall....... "are you kidding me"..... if anyone makes me really mad ... "are you kidding me"...... It's a Veronica thing, I can't help it. The phrase comes out before I even have a chance to assess the situation.

I had the HUGEST "are you kidding me" moment this week. Even huger than being pregnant. I mean, I LOVE being pregnant. I am good at it I think. No complaining from me, no morning sickness, only swelled with one of the kids, skin looks great, I can even rock stilettos for the entire 9 months (which made my boss and mom and grandmother, very nervous going up and down stairs). Now the pain of natural child birth, that is different all together....goodness gracious, I mean really, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!??" I must admit that what I am going to tell you is even worse than the nightmare that is to push something so big from your va-jay-jay!! To me anyway.

Two nights ago or so I was doing what I have mentioned before as the "nightly marathon", this is where I get everything for the kids ready for the next day. This includes going through Tyler's back pack and sending back any signed forms to school that the teacher may need. There inside his red folder was "the" paper of all papers. It was a list of dates and times, on it I was to select my first, second and third choice of appointments to meet with his teacher for a first quarter conference. OK I thought, I will think about this. I went on to make his lunch.

Then I finally sat down for a moment, I thought to myself, I really need a Martini for this. I have to go to a parent teacher conference. I mean really? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!?? How fricken old am I? How old is he? When the hell did this happen, and really, where was I? It was just yesterday (OK so it was really 5 years ago) I was crying over FINALLY getting a positive pregnancy test, and now here I am ready to attend his first scary parent teacher conference.

I remember when mom had to go to school for me, but not in Kindergarten, for some reason, I don't remember these conferences until I was in middle school. I wondered, will they tell her I sneak in lip stick and put it on when I get here? Will they mention that the skirts that are way too short for school, I hide in my back back and change into it when I get here? How about that time I was passing notes?! It was so scary, but it always worked out. Now here I am, having to go to another one of these things after all these years. Except this time I am on the other side of that desk, not waiting for Mom in the hall. It is just as frightening.

After the initial shock of it, I got better. I am excited to know how he is doing and coping with school. He is too young to be doing anything terrible, (at least one would hope), but if he is shoving play dough up his nose, not sharing, talking out of turn, or something like that, I do want to know. I will walk to his class room, lovingly sit him outside the classroom with a book to read, and tell him to quietly wait for me while I speak to Mrs. Smith, give him a kiss, and probably even get choked up. I cant believe I am here. This is my life. I love it. It is crazy wonderful. But again, seriously, ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!

* Oh yes, and by the way, the week hasn't gotten any better. I am now going to a PTA meeting (OK stop laughing!!) on 09/30/08, my first ever. I hope it will not be my last, I want to be involved, but in all honesty, I will let you know after the thirtieth!!

Ladies and Gentlemen....

It is FALL!!!! I know I have written about Fall in here before, but I can't help it. What a great time of year this is. Especially here in North Carolina. The weather is just absolutely gorgeous. It is nothing but clear blue sunny skies today with a breeze that is just whispering my name. I wish I was on the beach or at a picnic or something, anything to be outside instead of a stuffy office.

I am so excited because we are going to spend a weekend at my parents' mountain house this Fall when the leaves peak. The kids and I are going to have a picnic on the Blue Ridge Parkway, enjoy the mountain scenery, green grass, and the beautiful hues of fiery reds, and oranges the leaves bring. We are planning on collecting leaves and then making a scrap book with those and photos of our day. We are also going to rub color. Just place the leaf under a paper, and then slightly rub a crayon over it and you get a cute stencil, stamp, sort of leaf, we will include those in our book as well. I don't know why, but I am overtly excited about it! It will be a great bonding and memory making sort of time. I think it will go well, and if it does, it will be a new tradition for the Lara's. I love traditions.

Fall brings good stuff; friends, family, Thanksgiving, football, pleasant weather, and Pumpkin Spice Lattes!! Ohhhhhh soooooo good! It seems like Starbucks brings them a bit before Fall, but they taste better when the weather compliments them so perfectly. Oh, yeah, and this year, they don't have to be decaf!! How cool is that??!!

Peace and Love,
V

A Lot To Live Up To

I am thankful tonight for a very special mother, daughter moment.

Genesis Nicole was in the tub in my bathroom as I was moving about picking up and sorting laundry...........

Gen: Mommy, I want to be just like you.

Me: taken a back......Aww Gen why do you say that?

Gen: Because I like everything about you and want to be what you are.

Me: Genesis, thanks so much, that was beautiful, but you know what?...tearing up.....

Gen: hair soaking wet, bubbles all around her, ......What?

Me: I want to be just like you.

Gen: Why?

Me: Because you are perfect in every way, just the way you are.

Wow, no pressure. I know as a mother I am a big influence on my daughter, but knowing something and actually living it are two different things. Period. I am living it. It's scary. It's nerve wracking, it's amazing, it's beautiful, it's pure love, innocence and grace.

Genesis, I only have one shot at this, but if I can teach you one thing, it is to never give up, and this is my chance to forever prove to you I will try to lead by example. BRING IT ON.

My beautiful brown eyed girl, I will live my life forever trying to never, ever, let you down.

I love you with all my heart!

Everything

John has a pretty broad range of music taste. No genre is off limits, though one of his preferred styles is crooning. Among the favorites are Dean Martin, Harry Conick Jr, and at the top of that list is Michael Buble. I even love me some Buble. Whew!

Yesterday John came home eager to play a song for me, in typical John fashion, as he does this often. He busts out a CD he has burned and pops in some Michael Buble. He tells me that this song was for me. John can tell a story through songs, he has one for anything and everything, so this isn't something that catches me off guard.

Somehow this one was different. I was holding Bella in my arms on the couch, she was napping, and the song starts. I immediately take to the song, there isn't much that can come from Michael Buble that I don't like. The lyrics were cute, playful, yet so beautiful and meaningful. I look over at John and his eyes were all welled up.

It has been said that real men wear pink, real men can cry, real men are great fathers. I am proud to say that John does all of the above. Thanks honey for that moment that was just for me. I will not ever forget it. Thank you My Love, for EVERYTHING.

Everything
Michael Buble
You're a falling star, You're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.

And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute.
Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're every song, and I sing along.
'Cause you're my everything.
Yeah, yeah

So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

***The title is a hyper link to the music video on YouTube.

Remembering 9/11

It is so hard to wrap my mind around how fast the years are flying. I remember this terrifying day like it was yesterday. Like many people, I remember where I was, what I was doing, what I was wearing, how I felt--the panic, devastation, fear, anger,unbelief, and overwhelming sadness. It is a day no American will ever forget for years and years to come. My heart goes out to all the families that were affected by this fateful day. The children, the mothers, the fathers, husbands and wives, all robbed of a full life. This day has to be especially tough for them and I cannot bare to even attempt to feel the way that they must feel. What an unimaginable tragedy.

Coincidentally, I finally picked up the book Lets Roll, Ordinary People, Extraordinary Courage., to read, I got it through work months ago, but never have the time to read it. I figured it cant be a better day to try and start. This book was written by Lisa Beamer, the wife of 9/11 hero Todd Beamer. He was on flight 93 on the way to San Francisco, but never made it. It is the story of Todd's life and the brave passengers & crew of flight 93. Lisa's style is very genuine and candid, I can almost live the experience through her words and it is heart wrenching. Todd left behind two young sons, a pregnant wife, and a daughter that he never got the chance to see born, hold, or hug. The book was on the New York Time's Best Seller List and the winner of the 2003 ECPA Gold Medallion Award and I cant wait to get through it.

I haven't read a book in years, other than parenting, pregnancy or breast feeding books, or Goodnight Moon, lol, and I do miss it. After this one I am going to read a book a friend let me borrow, it is titled The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I am excited to read this one. John and I will be married 10 years this November, and I would love to share many more with him, so whatever helps!

Happy Friday!

Off Center

All has been well in the Lara household past couple of weeks.
Some things have been "tricky" but all in all, I cant complain because we are all healthy and happy.

I need to return to Yoga so I can find my center a bit. I seem to be all out of sorts again. I need to find that happy place within myself or else nothing feels right. Seems like with kids, and basically living for them in a sense, it is more difficult to find that place and hang on to it. It has to be a conscious effort to make it work. It is almost like I just came crashing down really fast after a big drop on a roller coaster. Ahh, a roller coaster, I have felt like riding one lately, but that’s a whole other story.

I just cant finish what I start. Too many loose ends all over the place. Returned the library books but one is still at home, bought school pictures but I haven't passed them out, did the laundry and folded it, but haven't put it away, rented a movie but haven't seen it, on and on the list goes. Even with my posts on here, I have several started , but I just cant finish them. Still trying to wrap up the posts from Gen's spa day and her Birthday and pictures etc.

Here is a bit of a "Veronica's Life Recap" (crazy busy) :

• 
  My sister and her husband and my niece and nephew came to visit from Florida. It was so great to see them all. I didn’t realize how much I miss them until they were actually here. We had the best time catching up and getting to know each other. The kids are so sweet and the cousins played well together. Saturday night we went out and partied, about 9-10 of us and we had a blast.
• 
  Last week, we got rear ended. John got a bit of a black eye and Tyler got a little hurt on his head too but they were all OK thank goodness! It was so scary though to think my babies were all in the car. They were shaken up. Come to find out, the lady that hit us teaches at Ty and Gens preschool. Poor lady was so upset that there three kids were in the car etc. Just glad it is over, and glad it wasn’t MY fault, lol!!
• 
  Genesis seems to be battling some kind of stomach thing, with a bit of a low grade fever constantly. Except last Wednesday when it shot up to 103! My sweet little Gen, hate to see her down. On a good note though, she is going to school three days a week now and seems to be getting at least a little more acclimated.
• 
  Tyler tracked back into school this week, he is struggling to get back into a routine, but is genuinely excited to be back which is way cool. On his first day I even got him to wear his Sperry's (so cute) without to much of an ordeal (he just wants to wear his sneakers).
• 
  Isabella is still happy happy. Growing by the minute too. Oh, and I must say, she is still Daddy's girl, but I have earned some points!!
• 
  John and I are good too. Things at both of our jobs are really busy. We do have some things going on, we have had some challenges presented to us, but I am praying God sees us through. It is hard to ever see John down, he never is, that alone takes a huge toll. He is the family cheer leader, and he just isn't there right now. He is down but not defeated, so my job is to not let him go there. Tough feat. For all you married folks out there, I think you know where I am coming from. If one part of the boat is sinking, eventually the entire ship goes down, we CANT let that happen. :) At least John and I are anchored down well as a "unit" so to speak, so only good things can come from there if we can work together to keep it that way--and we can.
• 
  Yesterday was Emily's Birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU EM!!! Love ya!

That’s it for now, but hopefully more later.
Love, V