A Beautiful Mess

Christmas can really leave you feeling kind of,well, scrooge like! John and I work and work all month getting "ready" for Christmas. There are lights to put up, a tree to trim, old toys to go through to make room for new ones, gifts to buy and wrap, food to make, a house to clean, by the time the 25th rolls around you are exhausted to say the least. To top it all off, all that effort seems like it was in vain, by the time the 26th is here, the house looks like a wreck! I am really not kidding about this either. I can barely concentrate today just thinking about all I now have to do.

The house looked really gorgeous with all the decorations up, did I mention I LOVE our tree this year? The trees in the kids room were so pretty too. All of our gifts were finally wrapped beautifully under the tree after our marathon on Christmas Eve/Christmas morning. The doll house was built. The bathrooms were sparkling. The ham was ready. Finally, Christmas can come. It did just that, came and went. We even had (still have) family in from Miami, so there are currently 6 kids under 6 with us! We can definitely see the impact of the the kiddos too. Last night while I was exhausting my last little bit of energy trying to "tidy" up I realized I needed to get over it. Who the hell cares about all the mess. As picked up I saw so much beauty in all of it. It first hit me when I came across the children's pajama's.

• As I picked up mounds of clothes, I neatly folded the kids Christmas PJ's from the nights before. They were matching ones, they were so adorable! First were Tyler's. The bottoms were so long, he is so big I thought. This was his 7th Christmas, it was so surreal. Then came Gen's same PJ, smaller size, but still, the pants were long, reminding me of how tall they are getting, yet these were little. Gen is so petite. Lastly came Belle's. The smallest of the three, but she is so tall that the top can probably fit Genesis. There laid 6 matching pieces. I remembered their smiling faces, lighting up on Christmas morning in their matching PJ's. They were too sweet. I didn't put them in the laundry, I left them on the chair in my room. I just wanted to look at them.
• I then attempted to clean up the playroom a little bit. No way though, it was quite the feat. What a mess! Not with new toys though, the old ones. I tried to tip toe through the endless piles of their treasures. Did what I could, didn't make a dent. Then I smiled. The reason it was torn up is because the kids and their cousins had a sleep over the day after Christmas. There were 5 cuties on the floor in their sleeping bags. It was the cutest site ever. They watched movies, played with flashlights, ate popcorn, threw crap at each other, and were up until about 3AM. WOW! John and I listened in for about an hour through their monitor. We were cracking up at the things they were saying and doing when no one was looking. They are good kids, they deserved that time together. Bonding. Playing. Growing Up. What memories they built right there on that covered floor. I was happy for them!
• Whew, moved on the Ty's room. Just a week before it was all neat and tidy, his tree sparkling on his dresser. Now his new toys lined the floor and his train table. I saw big boy toys now. A flat screen TV, DVD player, DSi, books that he can now read to himself, games, etc. Still his passion however, dinosaurs! Lots of them scattered about. There is my baby I said to myself! There he is right there in Dino Land as he calls it. On the way out I turned off the light, and looked in one more time, made me tear up a bit. There was his train table and Thomas the Train bed, two things he desperately wanted a few years ago, and now the two things he is wanting to get rid of and trade for a big boy loft bed.
• On to the girls room. Double Trouble! This pretty pink room has clothes galore. The joys of being a girl starts young! There were clothes everywhere! That was all I was able to pick up! I then stacked their new toys in two different piles, one for each daughter. I felt happy in this room. I wanted to play with Gens new baby station, and her Hanna Montana dancing game, I wished I fit into her new pink cords. I chuckled at the two different piles, two girls yet worlds apart. Mickey stuff for Bella, and Rock Star things for Gen. Bella got a new Ariel doll, boy is she cute, I cant wait to open that one with her tonight. Their tree is lovely, adorned with a Princess tree skirt and ornaments, it is pink of course. Gen still loves it, Bella calls it the Little Mermaid Tree. I am grateful they get to share these sorts of things and memories. I just feel good in their room, and it feels good to know that they do too.
• Downstairs I washed Christmas platters, put away Christmas mugs, threw away left overs, and emptied the dishwasher only to fill it again. I hate picking up the kitchen, always have, especially after an "event"! The mess meant however that my family was over for Christmas. All of us together one more time. There were plenty of times this year I thought my Mimi would not be here for this one. She was though, and she was marvelous. She came in feeling nauseous from her meds, but she made every ones Christmas. The kids loved what Santa left at Mimi's house. That is where Ty's TV came from (this was at the top of his list, and his damn TV is nicer than mine!), and a Doll House for Gen that is almost triple her size, she can not reach the top story! My Mimi, Mom and I enjoyed our Christmas mugs, sipping coffee and eating pastries on Christmas day while that mess surrounded us. At that moment I didn't care about the mess, so why should I care about it that day? I stopped grunting and did what I could.
• There are like 5 trash bags on my porch (sorry but it was way too cold to walk them to the garbage cans) it saddened me a bit because I work so hard to wrap each gift just so. I laughed at that because there sat all my ribbons and bows in a trash bag. Just like John warned me they would. I didn't care, they made someone happy that morning and that is all that mattered anyway.
• I then put away all the sheets that were left in the family room. My sister and her husband from Florida slept on the pull out the night before. They were cold and used every last blanket and throw I owned. I neatly folded them up and went to the linen closet downstairs to put them away, I found the greatest Christmas present for myself in there. I keep all the blankets on the top shelf. We use them on movie nights and when we are talking on the couch etc. When Isabella was a baby I kept receiving blankets for her in there too. I always kept one in her swing as well. The day it was time to pack that swing up I took her light pink receiving blanket with tiny polka dots on it and tossed it in a pile to wash with the rest of her blankets. When I eventually got to that pile I took a big sniff of that blanket and I can still remember the baby smell, and the Dreft. At that very moment I folded that one back up and tucked it away at the very bottom of my blanket shelf. Since they used every last blanket, you guessed it, there was MY treasure. My hands were full of blankets, and I barely reach the top shelf anyway, It simply didn't matter. I tossed those neatly folded blankets on the ground and grabbed the receiving blanket. It smelled just as I remembered it. I sat on the the now messy blankets (once more) on the floor and just breathed that baby smell in. DELICIOUS!!! I was in the middle of a beautiful mess, and I didn't give a crap. I took a minute or two, then folded and put those blankets up again. I thought about washing and putting away that receiving blanket , but of course, I didn't. I am sure I will run into that blanket again one day at the bottom of the stack. I just hope it will still smell just as good. I think of it as putting away a little gift for myself for next winter. What a treat.

Our home is still a mess, it is a beautiful Christmas mess. This was a very Merry Christmas for all of us, even with all of its obstacles. I am so lucky to know some great people, and so blessed to have my family with me. I am thankful for life, my children, and will count our blessing as we kiss 2009 good-bye. I hope all of you had a great Christmas and I wish all of you the most beautiful Christmas mess EVER!

With love, and arms spread wide apart,
V