A Letter To My Son

My Dearest Tyler,

You had a 5th birthday on 6/18 and I don't know where the time has gone. I am so sorry for the delay in writing this to you but every time I tried I couldn't bring myself to it. It is almost like my little boy is all grown up and I am not ready to face that just yet. Ready or not, here I go though.

Tyler, you are simply the kindest hearted child I know. You love all living things, even nasty bugs and spiders. You cry at the SPCA commercials, whenever those come on I have to run and change the channel!! Animals are your life. You beg for a doggie and I cannot wait until your Dad and I have the time to go on that adventure with you but I already know how important and lucky that dog will be. One day soon little man I promise.

Have I told you how smart you are? You teach Genesis everything, what am I saying, you teach all of us! You know all these big words, your speech is completely crazy it is that good!! When you ask us something and we don't know the answer you insist that we "Google" it right away,(you can be pretty demanding)! You love all books and being read to, and no joke, you make us read to you from the encyclopedia! Do you have any idea how boring those are? Nope you sure don't!

You are in love with dinosaurs too. Yes you correct me all the time when I pronounce those God awful names incorrectly! You know where these guys lived, what they eat, how big they were, truly amazing Tyler. You tell us that when you grow up you want to be an animal dentist or a dinosaur scientist. How you think of these things I will never know, but I hope that you grab on to those dreams and never let go!

You take such good care of your toys. You must have like 500+ animals and dinosaurs, which you class accordingly and never mix. Your style of playing is quite genius. Daddy says you got it from him, but I think you are leaps and bounds ahead of him already!! Ha.

The "Earf" as you says is special to you too. You want to take care of the "Earth" you say. No littering at all!! You love globes and want to know where everything is located on Earth. Pretty soon you will be teaching me everything because your mind at your tiny age is really wise beyond its years. I often wonder if I can keep up.

Your kindness extends to people. No one can be sick around you, it breaks your heart. You want everyone happy and healthy and will not have it any other way. If I have a simple headache I can't tell you because you worry way too much sweetie pie.

You are a great big brother too. Wow did your sisters ever luck out having you as an older brother. Sure you fight with Genesis but for the most part you take care of her, show her the way, and play with her even when you don't want to. Trust me you are getting to the point where you want "alone time" as you call it, and you get maybe 5 minutes if you are lucky, but you know what, you get over it really quick, you just suck it up. That isn't fair to you either but when I pull Gen away and she cries, you give right in. You are so good to her. You even saved her life once already. THANK YOU Tyler!

Preschool is all right with you. You love to go now and have a lot of friends. You had about 24 kids at your birthday party. Are you already popular? I didn't think I had to worry about that yet either. One of the moms at the party told me that Kate talks about you all the time and couldn't wait to come to your party, OH OH! Another little girl told your Daddy that she wore a shirt with a horse on it because you liked horses. I guess I am in for it aren't I?

Now, you are hard headed as all get out! Oh man you have some lip on you baby boy. I love it though. When you give it to me, I have to reprimand you, but you know what, a lot of the time, you are RIGHT! Yes parents make mistakes too Ty, but you are something else. You want to work with animals but you would make a heck of a lawyer!!!

Your sweetness can turn to incredible frustration at the blink of an eye. You can push our buttons without intention to a boiling point. You are so strong willed that you can only see things one way, yours! My goal is to tame that characteristic but not to take it away, for one I couldn't do that if I tried, but most importantly, it can be the thing that makes you very successful. You push, prod, and succeed with great determination. I have to learn to cultivate this into a positive thing for you. Really, little by little your rants and rages have gotten so much better, so I would say we are on the right track.

We are a pretty good team Tyler Jon Lara, sometimes I cant get through to you but I am learning every day just how to do it and nothing can take away our special bond that is definitely there; even if it isn't as seemingly obvious as the one you have with your Daddy. Your Daddy is your hero. He is your best pal. You respect him and look up to him tremendously. I wish that this never changes through the years ahead.

I will never forget that pregnancy test, it was positive FINALLY (I am pretty fertile now, but you were quite the process) I dropped to my knees and I can still feel that overwhelming happiness in the depth of my heart. Being pregnant with you was so special. Then you were here. This perfect bundle of love that I would die for in an instance. I held you, smelled you, took you in, stared at you, and instantly loved you without limits or borders unconditionally. Some things never change though.

You are so big and handsome now Tyler, but you will always be my first baby. My only son. A big piece of my heart is yours forever. I will always hold you, stare at you, comfort you, love you, smell you, touch you. You will always be my baby even when you are a grown man. I hope you can put up with that.

It is so hard to imagine that we just attended your preschool graduation and you are starting Kindergarten on the 14th. I just cant keep up with all the changes. I wish I can just freeze time and hold on to you a little longer. Time is going that fast.

These past 5 years have been an honor. It has been amazing to watch you grow, mature, play, develop and learn. It has been quite the ride. I never want to get off. I thank you for the meaning you give to my life , the love you put in my heart and the song in my soul. You are incredible. God really blessed me with a precious precious gift.

Daddy, you and I (and the TV show "Friends") have an inside joke.........I wonder if you ever read this if you will remember but ..... "I am going to love you so much no woman will ever be good enough for you"

I love you Tyler Jon Lara, more than you will ever know......
Your Mommy,
Veronica